Bovine boozers unite!

"Why can't they just leave our cows alone?" That's a sentiment some constituents have expressed to me lately.

With the supposedly compelling issues of the day which fill our headlines (and momentarily our heads) I am always interested to hear what's really on the minds of the severely normal folks here at home.

Elected reps are sometimes surprised to find out that our voters here in the real world are not hanging onto every word uttered in Question Period, nor to the iterations and inner machinations of every Standing Committee.

I'm always impressed with what's driving you, which is not always the same as what is driving the headlines.

It's just that when I'm listening to you through your emails, on your door steps or at the farmers' markets, Rotary meetings or charity events I often hear important issues which are different than the so called 'mainstream' ones.

Which brings me to our local boozing bovines.

Here in the Okanagan and Coquihalla regions we are justifiably proud of our world famous fruit products, including those of our verdant vineyards. Yeah, we know all about the Napa Valley and the Niagara Peninsula.

But we're also well aware that our growers' products are literally not having to settle for second place at the various well heeled judging competitions around the world. From London to Los Angeles and from Vienna to Versailles it's our proud producers who routinely get the gold ribbon handshake from the discriminating judges.

It is also no surprise to us that local cattle are sometimes the happy (ecstatic?) recipients of the latest Merlot or Pinot Noir. No, you won't see svelte steers sauntering into local hillside bistros and ordering up a well aged vino to impress the local cows.

And, no, you won't see an erstwhile farmer in midfield offering first a small taste, then a full glass to an approving head nod from Billy the Bull. (Our bulls out here don't need to be pleasantly spiked to encourage an amorous rendezvous.)

But what you may see is a farmer well versed on the issues of animal nutrients and natural additives putting a measured portion of quality wine into the daily diet of her appreciative four footed friends. Seems it adds a sweetening dimension to the prime cuts that wind up in those restaurants which request this unique dimension of flavour.

But it seems the practice has also caught the attention of the ever watchful eyes of certain officials at Health Canada. Calls have been made. Farmers have been questioned and they weren't asking if the farmers had asked the cows for their ID before serving them.

One bewildered producer asked what could possibly be wrong with serving up some local reds (in moderation of course) for their local browns. They were told there could be health issues related to possible sediment.

Ouch. Two slaps at once. First they question the fine product of the world's best vineyards. Then they suggest our farmers might not be concerned with the health of consumers. (…and by the way, do the officials think the water which the cattle slurp out of the local watering hole is magically free of sediment?)

For now, the officials are in retreat from the irate farmers. But they said they may be back (and we do recognize they have an important job to do).

Some of you have told me we need to stand up for the human rights of our producers and the animal rights of our cattle. Well, okay then. Let it be known that we will fight for our four legged bovine friends who choose to partake now and then.

No more will they be, er, down trodden.

No, we will absolutely not relax any of our drinking and driving rules for any young steers who might try to climb behind the reins of an ox-cart after a bucket full of wine.

But I will support their right to imbibe.

After all, there's a lot at steak here.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.