The benefits of non-custodial parents volunteering with their kids

Last week I watched a recording of a keynote speech by the late Susan J. Ellis, volunteer advocate extraordinaire, pulled from the Susan J. Ellis Foundation’s archives.

It was recorded in 1992. It blew my mind how insightful her comments around volunteerism and volunteers were and how completely relevant they still are.

Out of the large number of ideas and suggestions she touched on, one especially stood out for me, as I’d never heard it discussed before. That was the benefits for non-custodial parents of volunteering with their kids.

It's always a benefit when families volunteer together. For non-custodial parents, though, time spent with their kids is extra precious. Every visit, every conversation and every shared experience matters. While visits tend to revolve around fun outings, there’s one activity that can strengthen bonds in a much more powerful way—volunteering together. Giving back as a team creates lasting memories, teaches important values, and strengthens relationships.

Quality time with purpose

Non-custodial parents face the challenge of making limited time count. Volunteering together shifts the focus from simply “doing stuff” to making a difference. It provides a shared goal and a sense of accomplishment. Whether it's serving meals at a shelter, helping at an animal rescue, or cleaning up a park, these experiences create moments of connection and teamwork that go beyond typical outings.

Unlike movies or video games, volunteering encourages interaction, conversation, and collaboration. It’s an opportunity to work side by side, share thoughts, and support each other—all while making a positive impact.

Creating meaningful memories

Kids won’t remember every gift they receive but they do remember experiences that make them feel valued and connected. Volunteering can become a tradition that both parents and children look forward to. The act of working together toward a common cause builds a sense of togetherness that lasts far beyond the time spent at a volunteer site.

Demonstrating empathy and responsibility

Volunteering is a powerful way to teach kids (and remind ourselves) about kindness, responsibility and the importance of giving back. Seeing a parent model compassion and responsibility reinforces those values in a way that words alone can’t. It also increases the respect that the kids feel toward that parent.

For non-custodial parents, it is an opportunity to be a role model in a completely different setting. It allows them to demonstrate the kind of person they are, and they hope their children will become—people who care for others, take action and contributes to their community in a meaningful way.

Providing a neutral, positive environment

For many families, custody arrangements come with significant emotional landmines. Volunteering offers a neutral ground where the focus is on something positive rather than shaky family dynamics. It’s an activity free from pressure, allowing both parent and child to relax and enjoy time together.

That can be especially valuable for older kids and teens, who might sometimes struggle with poor communication skills and feelings of resentment. Working side by side on a volunteer project creates natural opportunities for connection without forced conversations or awkwardness. It allows parents and kids to engage in a meaningful activity without the pressure of feeling like they need to find something to fill every moment.

Building stronger parent-child relationships

Most of all, spending time together in a volunteer setting strengthens bonds in ways that more common activities don’t. It encourages meaningful conversation and makes it easier to get to know each other on a deeper level. By parents and kids discussing what they learned, the people they met or how they felt about the experience, they build trust and understanding, deepening their relationship over time.

It also helps create a sense of teamwork. Many non-custodial parents struggle with feeling like an outsider in their child’s daily life. Volunteering together fosters a feeling of partnership, reinforcing that they are still a family, even if they don’t live under the same roof. That can be especially beneficial for kids navigating changes in their family structure, giving them a sense of stability and purpose.

Time well spent—together

We all know that, at its core, volunteering is about giving.

For non-custodial parents, it can also be about building a strong relationship with their child. It’s about building real connections, finding a shared purpose, and creating meaningful memories.

Time spent volunteering together reinforces that essential bond between parent and child, strengthening their relationship and having experiences that will be cherished for years to come.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.