The voice of addiction

Photo: Pixaby

At what cost do people who use substances keep their addictions alive? 

Castanet recently received permission to publish a poem written by a member of our Okanagan community who is living on the streets and is addicted to crystal meth. 

In the poem, the author explains that with each passing day the toll demanded by addiction climbs higher and higher.

A Troubling Mind

By: Anonymous 

It's so easy to lose sight of yourself. 
To lose sight of what's right or wrong.
When you start listening to the voice of your addiction, 
Everything else becomes obsolete.

Its voice is quiet. 
So quiet you don't even know that it has spoken.
The consequences of listening start small.

You see, your addiction does not want to scare you ...
Oh no!
It wants to befriend you,
Wants you to seek solace with it.
To trust it.

You enjoy your addiction, at least at first.
You have parties, friends and make bad choices.
If you have children, they are likely to be your first major loss at the hands of addiction.

You make choices that may leave your children neglected, hungry or worse.

A concerned friend, or teacher, places the phone call.

Which inevitably leads to ...
Well, we both know what that is.

The next loss you will likely encounter is the loss of your spouse or partner.

You might begin to fight, scream, or hit one another.
One of you may leave.
Or, your spouse joins in with you,
and that is a loss all of its own.

Each loss you face, you turn to your addiction more and more.
Trying to find some comfort
But things only become worse.

You lose your job,
You start selling your things to keep your habit afloat.
You lose your home,
Everything you ever held dear is gone.

You know that your addiction is to blame.
You try not to be its friend any longer.
But while you were losing your life, 
Your addiction's power grew stronger, its voice grew louder.
Your feeble pleas and cries of mercy mean nothing to your addiction.

"I want this to be over, I don't want to be like this anymore," you chant.
But your addiction responds with two simple words ...
YOU CAN'T

Please don't give up!
Because there will always be hope for a time when you don't need the dope.
You can beat your addictions, though it will be hard.
Because the voice of your hope is louder, stronger and pure.

Think of all the things lost to your addiction.
Now let your hope wash over them, and pray that they will once again belong to you.
That your family will again be whole.

Fight the voice of your addiction, 
and once more it will be small. 
But be ever cautious, because it wants you to fall.