The Happiness Connection  

Embrace rejection

The only way to become a competent winter driver is to drive in winter conditions, including snow.

You may know to pump your brakes and steer into the skid, but knowing what to do isn’t the same as doing it.

This is true of every experience in life. Knowing the theory is helpful, but it isn’t until you put that knowledge into practise that you understand it.

The key to living the life of your dreams is to imagine what you want and then actively work to achieve it.

What stops people like you and me from taking the leap from theory to experience? One reason may be a fear of failure, embarrassment, or rejection.

In one of my jobs, I was asked to cold call prospective clients for my boss. That may seem easy to you, but to me it was the worst thing I was ever asked to do in all my years of working.

Why did I hate it so much? I have lived most of my life with a deep-seated fear of rejection. Unless I was pretty sure I would get a positive response, I would rather not ask the question.

These faceless voices may have been saying no to computer training, but I took their negative responses personally. It was as if by dismissing the services on offer, they were dismissing me.

I stumbled on a TEDx video recently. It’s called What I learned from 100 days of rejection.

I highly recommend you watch it. It is both entertaining and thought provoking.

Jia Jiang shares how he decided to stop letting his fear of rejection keep him from getting what he wanted. His solution was to de-sensitize himself by getting rejected everyday for 100 days.

In order to get rejected, he had to ask for things that were difficult to say yes to, like requesting a burger refill at a fast-food restaurant.

There is no such thing as a burger refill, so getting a no was pretty much guaranteed.

It didn’t take many rejections for him to stop fearing them. Once he accomplished that, he was able to study the experiences and learn from each one.

His approach makes a lot of sense. If you want to overcome a fear, you have to face it often enough that it no longer holds any power over you.

If you are hesitant to embarrass yourself in front of other people, find ways that are guaranteed to do just that. Experience it, survive and then do it again.

Don’t like eating in a restaurant by yourself? Take yourself out for a date every night for a month. What is currently scary will become commonplace.

Take what you avoid and conquer it by becoming accustomed to it. There aren’t many – if any – death certificates that list embarrassment or rejection as the cause of death.

Life is too short to let fear hold you back.

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About the Author

Reen Rose is an experienced, informative, and engaging speaker, author, and educator. She has worked for over three decades in the world of education, teaching children and adults in Canada and England.

Research shows that happy people are better leaders, more successful, and healthier than their unhappy counterparts, and yet so many people still believe that happiness is a result of their circumstances.

Happiness is a choice. Reen’s presentations and workshops are designed to help you become robustly happy. This is her term for happiness that can withstand challenge and change.

Reen blends research-based expertise, storytelling, humour, and practical strategies to both inform and inspire. She is a Myers Briggs certified practitioner, a Microsoft Office certified trainer and a qualified and experienced teacher.

Email Reen at [email protected]

Check out her websites at www.ReenRose.com, or www.ModellingHappiness.com

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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