Things can be different

Photo: Contributed - (Flickr user, intosomerset)

She called out to me at the beach. She was there with her children – and her “new” partner. Not so new, she smiled, explaining that they’d met almost 10 years ago now, been married eight, and had two children together, plus the two from her previous relationship. They were laughing, playful and affectionate with each other and with the children. Their relationship appeared easy, relaxed, and respectful. They were a typical, happy, family spending a day at the beach. She chatted easily with me about their home, their pets, the children, her job, their plans for the future.

As I prepared to leave she paused and said quietly, “I just want to say thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without the Shelter and the support I got there. I was so afraid to leave and I don’t think I could have done it on my own.” She glanced at her partner and the children splashing in the waves. “My life is so different now. No more abuse. My older kids remember what it was like before we came there, but they’re okay now. They feel safe and they’re happy - and the younger ones have never experienced anything like that at all. This relationship is so good – our lives are so good. Thank you.”

She is a success story –her children benefit from this success. We all benefit from her success.

Years have flown by since she arrived at the Kelowna Women’s Shelter, fleeing a relationship of horrifying violence and abuse. She couldn’t imagine feeling safe, feeling valued, feeling strong and competent, feeling like she was a good mom, feeling happy. All she knew was that she had to get away or she would not survive - and that she was terrified.

The Shelter provided a place of safety for her and for her children. As well as safety, the Shelter provided the everyday necessities of life including food, transportation, childcare, and clothing. Perhaps even more importantly, she received crisis intervention counselling, validation, information and referrals, group and individual counselling and support. Given time and on-going support, she was able to begin rebuilding her life. She focused on healing and personal growth and on making healthy, positive choices for herself and her children. And now, she has a new life and a new future.

These are the rewards arising from the service the Kelowna Women’s Shelter provides. This is the difference it makes. No more abuse for this one woman or for her children - for them, new lives and a new future. For the community: a strong, healthy, functional family. This is how family violence and abuse end, one woman, one child, one relationship, at a time.

If you are experiencing abuse or know of someone who is, please call the Kelowna Women’s Shelter. Abuse is never okay….asking for help is! Call 250-763-1040 for information or support.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.