Ultimate online IQ test

It saddens me to say this, but there are suspicious people in the world who doubt the value and solid empirical scientific evidence behind online IQ tests.

I, err, I mean the suspicious people, dismiss these tests as nothing more than a sleazy tactic to go viral on facebook by offering soaring IQ levels to people who struggle with telling left from right.  

In fairness the tests on facebook do seem a bit too easy, so I hired a Veritable Whack of Geniuses to create a harder test. By taking this test, you are guaranteed to have an IQ. 

Tough Mudder Smarty-Pants: The ultimate online IQ test

Instructions: Sit up, face the computer screen, place both feet on the floor, sit on your hands, put down the beer, and stop rolling your eyes. You must fully concentrate on your response to each question. Be sure to speak clearly. Using advanced Interactivated Intuitional Thinkware© technology, the test software will intuit and analyze your answers. 

Vancouver is in 

1. Greater Vancouver
2. Saskatchewan
3. Toronto
4. Fruit Loops

The United States is

1. large
2. a province 
3. in Asia
4. Fruit Loops

2 + 2 =

1. 4
2. four
3. fore
4. for

E = mc2

1. huh?
2. no, I don’t think so, thanks anyway
3. formula for doge
4. is it raining today?

Hitler wanted 

1. to have a functioning brain
2. a fluffy white kitten
3. pizza, no anchovies please
4. world peace

The Beatles were

1. 4 Americans
2. 4 bugs, no Raid
3. 4-tunate
4. 4 shur

Donald Trump is

1. a nut job
2. the messiah, with bad hair
3. your illegitimate brother
4. Fruit Loops

Justin Trudeau

1. is the president of Canada
2. is the prime minster of North Korea, with good hair
3. is your illegitimate brother
4. can eat crackers in your bed

Did you go 

1. there
2. their
3. they’re
4. Fruit Loops

You should use all-caps 

1. before someone on the Internet disagrees with you
2. while someone on the Internet disagrees with you
3. after someone on the Internet disagrees with you
4. in an email to the moderator for removing your all-caps post

If you fell down, you would 

1. get up fast if the beer was out of reach
2. pretend to look around to see what tripped you
3. go viral because everybody on the street put it on youtube
4. die

To find out your IQ, click here.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.