A better attitude helps you and those around you

Attitude is everything

Be aware, your attitude is showing.

Our attitude creates the feeling nature people respond to. Attitude emits a presence and is like an atmosphere that surrounds us. It colours the things we do and affects happiness and success.

Have you ever been in a room full of people when one person walks in and the energy of the whole room changes, either for the positive or the negative? I sure have.

Our presence is felt by people, and is either an attractive or a repulsive force.

Most of us have people we love to be around, and those we choose to avoid. When we think about it, it’s their attitude and presence we’re responding to. No one enjoys hanging out with a Negative Nellie, Sacrificing Simon, or a Manuel the Martyr.

When it comes to human relationships, it’s not so much about what we know or say, it’s about how we make people feel.

We may not even be consciously aware of why we’re attracted to or repelled by another. It might just be that somethin’-somethin’ in our spidey senses that tells us to move closer or to back away. These senses are worth listening to.

Someone may be absolutely brilliant, full of facts and knowledge, but if they’ve got a negative way-of-being, their brilliance may never be revealed because people back away.

I know people who try to do all the right things to make themselves attractive and remain confused when people back away and their success is limited. It’s not so much about what we do, but ‘how we be’ that matters the most.

Every human interaction is painted with the color of our attitude. It’s the way we interact with the world.

Attitudes become a way of being. We can either fill-people up, or be a drain with our prevailing nature. The choice is ours and a negative attitude can always be changed.

Recently, I became aware I needed an attitude adjustment.

I’d fallen into that old mental trap of looking at the opportunities in my life as obligations instead of remembering I’m always at a point of choice. It’s a subtle, but expensive shift from, “I get to…” to “I have to…” and that easily turns everything into just another chore.

I can feel in my body when I’ve made the switch because living life from an attitude of “I have to” versus “I get to” makes a huge difference to my experience of life and the way I show up.

The stories we tell ourselves about what we do determine our experience of life.

I’ve learned the truth behind author and spiritual teacher, Wayne Dyer’s comment, “when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”

One of my key strategies to adjust my attitude is to remember back to when I really wanted what I already have. In this, I remember the value and the reason things are in my life. I reflect on the meaning behind what I’m doing, instead of the task at hand.

As I pause and remember the “why” or the real reason behind what I do, I bring a better attitude. Difficult tasks become easy and joyful, because I’m no longer subtly resisting and resenting what I’m doing. My day is easier, and so is everyone else’s around me.

Life presents challenges and is often painful. Bad stuff happens. We often can’t control these things. But we can control our attitude, and reduce our own suffering.

Our being, or attitude, is what enhances or takes away from all that we do. It’s our attitude that people feel and we, ourselves, reap the blessing or the burden of how we choose to show up.

It’s not so much what’s happened to us in life that matters the most, it’s what we do with it and how we show up.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.

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About the Author

Corinne is first a wife, mother, and grandmother, whose eclectic background has created a rich alchemy that serves to inform her perspectives on life.

An assistant minister at the Centre for Spiritual Living Kelowna, she is a retired nurse with a master’s degree in health science and is a hospice volunteer.  She is also an adjunct professor with the school of nursing  at UBC Okanagan and currently spends her time teaching smartUBC, a unique mindfulness program offered at UBC, to the public. 

She is a speaker and presenter and from her diverse experience and knowledge, both personally and professionally, she has developed an extraordinary passion for helping people gain a new perspective, awaken and recognize we do not have to be a slave to our thoughts, stress or to life. We are always at a point of change.

Through this column, Corinne blends her insights and research to provide food for the mind and the heart, to encourage an awakening of the power and potential within everyone.

Corinne lives in Kelowna with her husband of 44 years and can be reached at [email protected].

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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