List of 2016 predictions

Feels as though it was just a few weeks ago that we had to get used to dating things with ‘2015’. Now the year 2015 is already over, and a new year is upon us, 2016. What marvelous events will take place? What future trends will we discover?

Here are some of my predictions for the next year. You heard them here first, y’all!

Personal Finance and Little Money

More and more people will go into debt. Because we never learn.

Real estate prices in major Canadian metros will continue to go up. While technically prohibited, lifelong mortgage loopholes will be invented to allow young people to experience the joy of home ownership by buying a moderately used garden shed for just under $1M. Real estate agents will continue pressuring young people into buying by using the ‘BUY NOW OR BE FOREVER LEFT BEHIND’ bullying tactic. It will continue to work wonders.

Student debt will go even higher, allowing anybody to pursue higher education without thinking too much about whether or not they’ll have a good return on investment in the form of a well-paying career later on. Your next Starbucks coffee might be made by somebody with PhD in History of Animal Advocacy.

Business and Big Money

Oil prices will continue to slide down, but not as drastically as in 2015. We’ve all been wondering if the world will end when oil prices dip below $50/barrel. Now $50 will look like a huge amount of money per barrel and it will be regarded as ‘good old times’ among oil investors.

Incidentally, prices at your local gas stations won’t go down. Because somebody has to pay for Exxon’s CEO $40 million salary and $0.73 per share dividend. By the way, I own some Exxon shares, so thank you.

Commodities’ prices will also slide. People who were investing their money into gold bullions and proclaiming how gold is the best investment ever will quickly change the subject if you bring it up, but a slight sadness in their eyes will become apparent. Maybe a small tear will run down their cheek.

Some big name company will go bankrupt. It will be proclaimed as symbolic and more people will become doomsday preppers and wait for The End of Days while stocking ammo, seeds, and gold. The business of selling ammo, seeds, and gold will get even more profitable. Who knows, we might even see a preppers’ supplies company go public.

Apple will come up with a new toy that EVERYBODY has to have. Perhaps a computer chip that will be implanted so you can watch kittens on YouTube just by closing your eyes or check your Twitter feed in your sleep. Technologically, it will be a revolution, but the way it’ll be used will be pure shame. Just like Internet, e-mail, and cell phones.

Entertainment and Media

We’ll learn a new term that will quickly become overused. In 2015 it was “twerking” (thanks, Miley!).

Another social media will be invented. As somebody who is hopelessly behind times (I just discovered Twitter two weeks ago), I’m already lost between Pinterest, Periscope, Facebook, and Vine. I bet it will be a mobile app for uploading photos of your ear wax samples for people to admire online. Justin Bieber will have the most followers.

TV and Movies

Star Wars will make a gazillion dollars. Star Wars will become this generations’ Harry Potter and Lord of The Rings combined. Being a Star Wars nerd will become cool for the foreseeable future. People who don’t pay attention to movie hypes and never seen a single Star Wars movie will be regarded as outcasts, and will be sent beyond city limits. I will miss Mrs. Financial Underdog, who has never seen them, but I’ll look the other way for the fear of being next on the list.

People will finally figure out something I’ve known a long time – zombie movies suck. This whole zombie trend in the form of countless zombie movies, computer games, and TV shows will finally fade into history to be replaced by something even lamer – like action movies about vegans.

Politics

Donald Trump will continue to be the most entertaining presidential candidate ever. And I don’t even know other candidates, or follow US politics in general. This guy is hilarious.

Here in Canada, people will complain about all sorts of problems without realizing that it’s the people outside of North America and Europe who are really suffering, and compared to them we are entitled babies who should not be complaining about anything. They have wars, genocide, and hunger. We don’t know which piece of the pie eat first. But we’ll still complain, because it’s our right, dang it.

Politicians and TV celebrities will continue to have virtually zero effect on our everyday lives, but will be the most talked-about topics. At the same time, things that really matter – such as investing for the future, paying off your debts, and making smart decisions with your money – will be nowhere near being popular. A paradox of sorts.

I’d love to hear what you think, so hit me with a comment by going to the full version of this story on my blog. 

Also, let’s connect on Twitter. 

 

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.