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Mindful-Communications

Why is bad easy to believe?

Creating Confidence part 4 of 4:

Why is it hard to believe that you are awesome?

Dear reader, you are awesome.

I know that if I were lucky enough to meet you, I would be inspired by your story. I would want to spend all afternoon hearing about your experiences and the insights you’ve gleaned from life.

Every day, I meet people who humble me. People who have been through real struggles and come out stronger. People who are passionate and full of love for their community. People who are so remarkable that I doubt my own awesomeness.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe; however, like you, I am awesome, too.

Why is it so easy to doubt ourselves? Why is the bad always easier to believe?

There actually is a scientific answer: It’s called negative bias and it is the human condition of which we give more weight to bad experiences than good ones. Researchers even have a formula for this weighting – apparently negative emotions have an impact of three times stronger than positive.

To put that astonishing fact into perspective: That means that I can tell you that you are amazing and if you immediately think “no I’m not,” that thought will have a negative effect three times greater than the positive effect of my compliment.

That is significant. Every time you have a negative thought about yourself, you are doing serious damage.    

If negativity has been proven to do considerable damage to our psyche, why doesn’t everyone hold a positive outlook all the time? Because, like the reason we form many bad habits, it’s the easy way out.

Humans naturally take the easiest route and it seems easier to hold a self-doubt than it does to work at improving your confidence.

It is natural to fall into a thought process of “I can’t” and negative self-talk supports that internal narrative. That is why people with confidence stand out and are often more successful in life.

Confidence does not come from putting others down. It is not an “I win; therefore, you lose.”

True confidence comes from believing in yourself. It is as simple as that. Once you believe in yourself, you no longer seek the approval from others, which allows you the freedom to follow your own path – That is where you find happiness and success.     

It’s time to stop those damaging, self-deprecating thoughts.

You are awesome. You are stronger than the negative narrative that wants to play on repeat in your brain. You can change it starting now. It won’t be easy or happen quickly, but you can take small steps every day to embrace your awesomeness.

A technique I love, and practise everyday is to start my day with gratitude. When I wake up in the morning and swing my feet out of bed, I put one foot down and say “thank” and the other foot down and say “you.”

Starting the day with gratitude is the best way to change your internal narrative. Instead of sluggishly rolling over and groaning as you pull yourself up – start it with thanks for the breath that flows from your lungs.

I have spent my last three articles focused on creating confidence because I truly believe that everyone should love themselves and recognize their own awesomeness. I have written about smiling and the positive side effects.

I’ve encouraged readers to own their spotlight especially if other try to drag them out of it. I’ve laid down a challenge to everyone to try something new every year. I have done this to inspire people to love who they see looking back at them in a mirror.

I hope that you, dear reader, will recognize just how awesome you are. Perhaps, one day, I’ll be lucky enough to hear your story.

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About the Author

Like most people, Christy has taken many paths. On the officially documented life list, she is a certified yoga teacher, an advanced open water diver, a financial adviser with a financial broker’s licence, a Harley rider and owner, an author, a community advocate.

She has been trained in coaching, negotiations and communication studies. She competed at a provincial level in competitive swimming and now has a passion for overall fitness.

On the un-documented list, Christy’s diverse experience is both positive and full of pot holes. She is the founder and CEO of a start-up company that never made it past the start-up phase. She has enough tattoos to classify as a walking adult colouring book. 

She has gone through all the identity phases at different times in her life: hippy, gothic, classy professional, biker... and is now a unique blend of them all. She a spiritual junkie and is addicted to adrenalin, learning and travel.

The bottom line: She is full of love and lessons with a hope that those who read this and connect with her will benefit from what she learned and be inspired to reach for the limitless possibilities of life.

Connect with her at:[email protected]



The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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