Things we have learned

After nearly 9 months of panicdemic, we are starting to learn so much more about Covid-19 than we did at the outset (which was nothing). For example:

The virus is a bit of a night owl. If you want to go for a drink you will be safe as houses if you go early, but if you go out after 10.00 pm. you will be taking your life in your hands.

The virus is also keen on democracy. It is prepared to not infect anyone who goes to vote at a polling station. I'm not sure how we know this, but Saint Bonnie Henry has promised us that this is the case, so it must be true.

The virus has a social conscience. If you go to a hockey or football game it will probably kill you, but if you want to protest with thousands of others against an injustice somewhere then it will leave you alone.

The virus is not very athletic. It cannot jump 2 meters, unless you are in China where it can only jump 1 meter, or Korea where it can hop 1.4 meters, probably because they are shorter over there. In Australia it can only jump 1.5 meters, but maybe that's because they are upside down.

The virus likes to kid everyone that they are ill. It did this by giving us sore throats, runny noses and headaches which made us all rush to get tested to see how long we had to live. Fortunately Saint Bonnie has got wise to this trick and has told us we needn't worry about these things. Anyway the headache was just  from drinking too much (before 10.00 pm of course).

The virus likes to hang around in shop doorways. This is why stores have separate enter and exit doors. Once inside of course you can go anywhere you want and if you brush past people you will be fine.

The virus changes its habits. We know this because it used to hang out on reusable shopping bags which meant we all had to use thousands of plastic bags. It has given up doing this now and we can take our shopping bags into stores again.

Personally I can't wait to see what the virus will do next, it certainly is an elusive little critter isn't it?

Peter Emery, Kelowna