Woman relieved after Kelowna abuser sentenced to significant jail term

A Kelowna woman who suffered significant abuse at the hands of her former partner finally felt some relief when she saw him taken into custody earlier this year.

David Matraj, 35, was convicted last year of three counts of assault causing bodily harm, one count of assault and one count of sexual assault and in January, he was sentenced to four years in jail. Last week, he was handed an additional 18-month sentence for assault causing bodily harm, unlawful confinement and assault by choking.

The convictions stem from incidents that occurred in 2022 against the same woman.

While a routine publication ban on the victim's identity was previously in place on both cases, Delainey Chisholm, 32, successfully applied to have the ban removed so she'd be able to tell her story.

“After seeing him in his orange jumpsuit behind that little plexiglass case in the courtroom, it was really justifying just knowing he can't hurt anyone ... it felt really freeing,” Chisholm told Castanet. “And I am just so glad that I didn't fold all those times that I wanted to just walk away from everything.”

The pair dated between February and July 2022 after they had met at a Kelowna store, where Matraj was Chisholm's supervisor.

Chisholm testified that while they were dating, Matraj would assault her four to five times per week, but she says the abuse escalated over time. She said it started with him grabbing her shirt during fights, then her face. In time, he began choking her.

“Any form of unwanted physical contact is abuse ... If I could go back and tell myself one thing it would be the very first time he grabbed my shirt, I should have run because it doesn't stop there. One time is too many,” she said.

Chisholm first left Matraj in early July 2022. Despite wanting to just “put this behind” her, she was convinced by friends to go to the police. The first set of charges were laid against him the following October.

'He almost killed me'

Chisholm explained that despite suffering so much abuse at his hands, she was still in a “trauma bond” with Matraj at the time.

“It doesn't make sense to a person who's not in it ... it doesn't matter what they did to you, you just want them because you're kind of addicted to them,” she said.

“I don't know where my head was at at this point, but after a week or two, I was missing him, and I was trying to get a hold of him to talk to him.”

They started talking again in August, in breach of his release conditions, but after a couple weeks, Chisholm found herself back in a terrifying situation on the night of Aug. 30 when Matraj was at her home.

“It just escalated to the point where he almost killed me ... I was able to call the police and whisper when he was in the bathroom, but I left the phone connected to the call and hid it behind my bed. So that fight was recorded, of me screaming and crying and everything,” she said.

Police arrived within 17 minutes, finding her “battered with a bloody lip and blood on the floor.” Matraj was once again arrested, but was released 10 days later.

This incident made up the second set of charges, which led to the additional 18-month sentence.

"Even though the sentencing wasn't what I wanted, it was better than nothing," Chisholm said about the 18-month sentence.

Wanted to give up

The two separate cases against Matraj were plagued with delays and adjournments Chisholm says, and there were many times throughout the process that she wanted to give up.

“There was so many times I just wanted to say 'Screw it, I'm done with this.' But now that I actually see that it paid off, I am so, so glad that I didn't fold, I didn't give up,” she said.

“I was like, the cycle is going to end with me, I am going to stick through this because I don't want any other girls to go through this at the hands of David.

“If I didn't press the charges and go through with them, then if another girl had gotten hurt from him, then I would blame myself forever. If, God forbid, he does hurt someone else when he gets out of jail, at least I'll know that I did everything I could to prevent that from happening.”

Matraj was previously placed on two peace bonds in 2017 in connection to another woman he had been in a relationship with and he was convicted in 2018 for breaching those conditions.

Constant nightmares

Chisholm says she struggled with suicidal thoughts following her experiences with Matraj, and she was hospitalized in the fall of 2023 where she was diagnosed with PTSD.

She says she was scared that Matraj would try and kill her while he was out on bail, especially after he was convicted last May.

“I had nightmares constantly of him breaking into my house and stabbing me and all these things,” she said. “It's so nice to know he's gone, he can't hurt anyone anymore.”

Chisholm is now focused on raising her children and moving on with her life. She got married this past fall.

'Persistent, repetitious and escalating violence'

While Matraj's defence counsel in January argued his client should avoid jail time altogether, Judge Lisa Wyatt said he had “no hesitation” sentencing him to the four-year jail term given the circumstances of his offences.

“The offences involved persistent, repetitious and escalating violence over a number of months, culminating in a sexual assault,” Judge Wyatt said.

“The offender demeaned the victim, treated her like his property when he suggested his actions did not constitute assault because she was his girlfriend and prevented her from getting medical treatment.”

Quoting a previous court decision, Judge Wyatt said: "Domestic abuse, as intimate partner violence is also known, imperils society as a whole ... it is conduct that tears at the very fabric of our society."