E Fry Society partners with Big Brothers Big Sisters for children and domestic violence awareness campaign

Photo: Contributed

The Kamloops Elizabeth Fry Society and Big Brothers Big Sisters are teaming up to help end the stigma surrounding the impact domestic abuse has on children.

Starting Monday, their campaign “#Not My Legacy" aims to dispel the myth that children who witness abuse will perpetrate it in adulthood, highlighting that many children affected by abuse lead healthy lives.

The initiative, running throughout November, will involve social media posts to educate the public, as well as a call for donations, and volunteering with the organizations.

Elizabeth Fry Kamloops executive director Allison McLauchlen said through the partnership the organizations hope to shine a light on the programs and services they provide that help support children go on to live safe, happy lives.

McLauchlen said the notion children who witness domestic violence go on to continue the abusive behaviour is a “highly damaging myth” that will only harm more children in the future.

More mentors needed

McLauchlen said while people will probably never forget the domestic abuse they saw or experienced, they can learn healthy ways to deal with their emotions and memories as they mature.

“The sooner the child gets help, the better his or her chances of becoming a mentally and physically healthy adult are,” McLauchlen said, adding that is why they wanted to partner with Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Central and Southern Interior of BC.

"That organization helps mentor youth who may be experiencing abuse at home. Currently, they are seeking more in-school mentors, particularly for male youth,” Helen Brownrigg, executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central and Southern Interior of BC said.

“Often these children are coming from environments where the school system is the only place where they're safe,” Brownrigg said.

The program sees mentors matched with youth for one hour, once a week under the supervision of the school where the pair can play games, talk and the child gets to have a positive role model in their life.

“The impact is incredible,” Brownrigg said of their mentor program.

“It's life changing for them to be heard, time to play, and no one can interrupt that, because these kids come from difficult backgrounds, for the most part, and they don't get that positive role model in their life.”

At present they have 12 children in need of a mentor who are on their Big Brothers Big Sisters capped waitlist.

More focus on children

McLauchlen said there is not enough talk, or statistics showing the numbers of people who experience domestic violence but choose not to perpetrate it.

McLauchlen said while there is a correlation between children who witness abuse and go on to perpetrate it, it's not the causal factor.

“And people get that mixed up,” McLauchlen said. “Domestic abuse and violence is a choice — whereas adults get to choose, children also get to choose.”

She said on any given night across Canada more than 2,000 women and children sleep in shelters because it’s not safe at home due to domestic abuse.

She said she feels that her line of work did a disservice to children decades ago as it focused soley on ensuring mothers were safe.

“We thought if we could get mom safe and get the children out, and work with mom the children would be fine. We realized pretty early on that children need their own support — they need their own outlet to deal with the trauma,” McLauchlen said.

“We need to talk more about the children’s experiences.”

Editor's note: This story mistakenly displayed an incorrect logo of an organization that is not involved in the project. The photo has since been corrected to display the logo of Big Brothers Big Sisters.