Falling Forward  

Why you want to stay stuck

Why are you not getting better? Why does it seem like nothing changes for you? Why do you continue to have the same ailments haunting you? Why are you continuously stuck in the same types of predicaments in your life? Why do you find yourself in the same kind of relationships that end up falling apart?

Because some part of you wants to stay stuck.

We are not curious enough about our problems. We are quick to label them as fixed, literal issues. Even physical problems are overly literalized. When we literalize and label too strictly, we stop the inquiry process, we stop the exploration, we stop being curious.

If we expand more, wonder more and imagine more deeply into our problems, we can begin to welcome them in a way in which they are heard. Something in us wants to be heard. Something in us wants to have a voice. There is something to be learned in our "stuckness".

We usually just want our stuckness to go away and we see ourselves as victim to it. We can become victim to physical, mental, and emotional struggles but if we opened up more, allowed for curiosity, we would find that our struggles are speaking. There is a part of us that won’t let us move on until we listen. But when we want to be fixed and see our stuckness as “bad” or “negative” or “dysfunctional” then we fully miss and ignore the very reason it is there in the first place.

So there is some part of you that wants to stay stuck in order to learn, and then there is the part of you that just wants a happy and easy life. Don’t we all? But it is the fully engaged life that is most fulfilling and only when we engage both our “positive” and “negative” modes of being are we able to stay engaged and move forward.

Try and fully accept your continued stuckness - the patterns, the seeming insanity. Stop trying to make it go away and start listening more deeply into it/them.

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About the Author

Jason is a counsellor and life coach in private practice.  He believes strongly in helping clients to remove the obstacles that get in their way so they may embrace and accept who they are, utilizing their own resources.  Whether you want to work on personal growth, life transitions, or just feeling stuck, Jason will help you get to where you want to go.

He is a Certified Canadian Counselor (CCC) with the Canadian Counseling and Psychotherapy Association. Jason has a Master of Arts degree in Psychology with a Marriage and Family Therapy Specialization.  His training prepared him to work with individuals, couples and families.

For more information on Jason's services, visit his website at www.jasonmccarty.ca

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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