Marijuana named after baby Beyonce

A hit song, a catering company, and now a strain of marijuana has been named after the offspring of power couple Beyonce and Jay-Z, who was only born a mere 11 days ago!

A group of pot dispensaries in Hollywood are cashing in on the bundle of joy, selling it in several LA pot shops. The new strain is called ‘OG Blue Ivy’.

None of the dispensaries have, as of yet, received any legal notices to cease and desist, but am guessing it will be just a matter of time…  however maybe Jay-Z is contemplating a side business?

Lazy Jedi

Master Dave just can’t seem to get his day started! 

We’ve all been there!  Waking up to an annoying alarm clock and wanting to chuck it across the room!
Just being unable to get motivated at the beginning of your day, when the last thing you want to do is head off to work!

Question: is it me, or does this Jedi have a beer belly?  Obviously he isn’t using his power to guard neither the justice OR the peace of the galaxy!

If only I were gifted with his powers, the things I could do...

Madonna Takes on Elton John

Ah, don’t you love it when two grown adults duke it out over something that just seems so futile and silly?

Elton John boasted on the red carpet of the Golden Globes the other night that there was “no f**king chance” that Madonna was going to beat him out of winning for Best Original Song.

Well… she did! Whomp!

Madonna picked up the nod for her song ‘Masterpiece’, which she wrote for her new film and directorial debut, ‘W.E.’ – which is not getting very many good reviews so far.

There were no stabs on Madonna’s end during her acceptance speech, except for a terrible British accent... but Elton’s hubby, David Furnish, was none too pleased!

“Madonna winning Best Original Song???? F**k off!!!” Furnish apparently wrote on his Facebook. 

“Madonna winning Best Original Song truly shows how these awards have nothing to do with merit. Her acceptance speech was embarrassing in its narcissism," Elton’s significant other went on.

John himself made a similar comment years ago, when Madge won for Best Live Act at the GQ Awards: “Madonna, best f**king live act? F*** off!”

Gee, both of them sure love to drop the f-bomb!  A match made in heaven!

So far Madonna’s response hasn’t been too biting, only saying: "I hope he speaks to me for the next couple of years.  He's known to get mad at me. He's brilliant and I adore him. He'll win another award so I don't feel bad!"

Nice to know the Material Girl can be a professional about it!

‘Detachment’

The trailer and the cast for the upcoming film ‘Detachment’, looks amazing!

Unfortunately the critic at the Tribeca Film Festival, where the movie premiered, does not feel the same - giving it a scathing review.

I still have some hope however, as it’s only one person’s opinion, right?

Henry Barthes (Adrian Brody) is a down-on-his-luck substitute teacher, getting over the loss of his mother to suicide and dealing with an ill grandfather.

His newest teaching assignment takes him to a troubled school, and where the teaching staff is at their wits end.

The principal, Carol (Marcia Gay Harden), is dealing with an unsupportive school board, as well as a hostile husband (Bryan Cranston). Mr. Wiatt (Tim Blake Nelson) is being driven to the edge of a nervous breakdown, and Mr. Seabolt (James Caan) is too cynical to care about his work anymore.

As Barthes struggles to find a reason to continue himself, two troubled students come to his rescue - Meredith (Betty Kaye), an overweight student who is a target for bullies, and Erica (Sami Gayle), a 15-year-old prostitute who is used as a punching bag by those around her.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.