Antidotes to Emptiness  

Waiting for direction


Do we ever really know where we’re going? Many people come to therapy to figure out where they are going. It seems that some people have a clear direction and go after it, while others struggle to find direction. I’m sure even the people who have clear direction feel doubts from time to time and wonder where they are going. I think this is natural and part of living a conscious human life. But maybe we never really know. Maybe life is supposed to partially happen.

Sometimes we get to places in our lives when it feels like we’ve hit a wall. What do we do? Most of us panic. But what if that wall was more of a natural directing agent? Or what if we just stayed still after running into the wall, awaiting the next sign to move. Instead, we panic and start running around like chickens with our heads cut off – then we really lose ourselves. Maybe we are not waiting long enough in the discomfort of not knowing where we are going. It is scary to wait. It means we have to trust. Whether that be in a higher power, or the reality that if we do not panic and wait patiently in the discomfort, something enlightening will happen. Or at least some direction will come our way. It does not always have to be a huge neon sign of enlightenment, but at least a whisper of direction.

I can get just as caught up in the frenzy for direction in my own life and as a therapist. It is easy for me to want to help clients move forward, or lateral, what have you, but maybe that is not always what they need from me. It might be what they want from me to help them relieve the discomfort, but maybe we both need to sit a little longer and feel the panic.  What does it really have to say? And what type of clarity might come from just observing the wall (stuck place) and allowing it to bring us closer to ourselves, feeling even more alive.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.

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About the Author

Jason is a counsellor, psychotherapist, and life coach in private practice. He is a Certified Canadian Counselor (CCC) with the Canadian Counseling and Psychotherapy Association. Jason has a Master of Arts degree in Psychology with a Marriage and Family Therapy Specialization. Jason's training prepared him to work with individuals, couples and families. Jason believes strongly in helping clients to remove the obstacles that get in their way so they may embrace and accept who they are, utilizing their own resources.

For the past 5 years Jason has worked with people struggling with addictions. He has gained new insights and perspectives into this problem and is always learning about this phenomenon. Jason's passion for writing and researching addiction treatment philosophy has led him to a more grounded and humanistic approach to the treatment of addictions.

In his practice, Jason helps his clients change, grow and search. He is still working with addictions but also works with other issues such as anxiety/stress, finding meaning and purpose, depth work and couples therapy. Please see his website for more information. In addition to his private practice, Jason also facilitates groups for court mandated clients in the Relationship Violence Program and the Responsible Drivers Program. Lastly, Jason co-facilitates the Parenting After Separation Course through the Kelowna Family Centre.

For more information on Jason's services, visit his website at www.jasonmccarty.ca

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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