Adult Reality Check 101  

Romance coud be a 'moment' away

Dating has always held complexities that rival quantum physics for comprehension and methodology. This has gone on throughout the ages and can be true for both genders. But today’s women are making it tougher than ever.

They're more beautiful, more sophisticated, classier, and more self-confident. A guy can’t buy a loaf of bread without passing an amazing amount of attractive women throughout the store, with many potentially single.

Trying to meet someone special rarely unfolds like the movies. Making magic happen in real life can mean learning to recognise unconventional opportunities and seizing the “moments” we are presented with. Some are obvious, some go unnoticed, yet all can be important to increasing the odds of finding that someone special.

There is one circumstance in the process so simple, so understandable, and so easy to fix, that it may well be, all we need to know. It’s the time and situation when we meet someone new which can be referred to as the “The Moment”. Understanding its different implications to each gender is a big key to unlocking doors to prospect.

Men and women have always held different ideas as to where they will meet potential mates. And, because of their different ideas of what the actual “moment” will look like, there is a variance in perception of when a “moment” is actually happening.

Most men literally don’t have a moment. When we’re single, we are in the game 24/7: watching, waiting, dreaming and hoping. Getting groceries or getting our morning latte, it doesn’t matter to us; if you’re attractive we can get smitten.

Most women however do have a moment, a conditioned and preconceived idea of where and when potential romance is might happen. And it usually isn’t during day-to-day life; running errands, at work, or getting groceries, for example. These are not the times women feel at their potential best.

Women might think of the “moment” as a friend’s dinner party next week, or an up-coming dance, and will patiently wait for the appropriate time and place.

Unfortunately for many single women this can mean missed opportunities in everyday life. Many overlooked occasions that don’t conform to society’s romantic interpretation of the right place and right time.

As for men, we’re here, all around you, in some appropriate circumstances you may have overlooked. We desperately want you to see us, be aware of us outside the prescribed romantic moments in life. Most men still hold to chivalrous behaviour, and want to be the one to ask a woman out.

But if we’re shy, feel free to break the ice. If we’re attractive to you, talk to us, and if you see what you like then please feel free to just ask us out!

Most of us will be flattered and probably say yes. Because its 2012 not 1912; the game has changed, the rules are open, and now more than ever, a women can score too. 

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About the Author

Jeff Hunkin is a 47-year-old Community Service Worker working with autistically challenged male adults in Vernon. The son of a retired Edmonton city policeman, Hunkin was raised and educated in both BC and Alberta. Hunkin continued his studies of the Human experience for over 10 years, in 7 provinces, 3 states, 15 cities and at least a 100 postal codes.

At times he has known the privilege of materialistic wealth and at others lived in a world of harsh poverty.  He has loved and lost more than most people see in a lifetime, he has been a free, happy and unbridled spirit, yet for a period of time, imprisoned within the depths of depression, all the while studying and observing the human experience unfold before him.

Hunkin's subjects are the very topics we usually discuss in our staff rooms, coffee shops or dinner parties. For whatever reason; being fear-based, being politically correct, or just no mainstream media theatres of discussion, these subjects rarely see the ink of print. HER side, his side, their side, your side, you may not like it, but someone will. Hunkin will take it, talk about it, run with it, roll with it, and see where it takes us all.

If you want to contact Jeff Hunkin about this week's column please e-mail - [email protected]

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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