Adult Reality Check 101  

Women have it all already!

Some don’t realize it, a lot don’t recognize it, and many don’t appreciate it.

The choices, options, and lifestyles that are available to women are not, contrary to modern trendy talk, available to men. Women can choose a path in life totally personal and unique to the circumstances they aspire to live, without the consequences and judgement men face.

The option to stay at home and home-make, to go work and pursue a profession, part-time, full time, life’s an open season of variations, prospects and personal preferences.

Men on the other hand are given a script at birth and except for a few modern re-writes we are expected to read it, play it, and live by it. We are born, bred, taught, indoctrinated, and raised to follow one path; work, marry, propagate and provide; end of story.

Women can make their world anything they want, any variation of life that works for them, and pursue it with impunity to examination or judgement. Except from their peer group, who can be ruthless, callous, and demeaning to each other when discussing life choices.

Not surprising, many women still can’t find peace within their choice, or happiness within their circumstance.

The “Mommy Wars” is nothing new - what is new, is a man brave enough to weigh in on it. Twice. “Working Women Are Personally Invested.”

Men do not enjoy the same lifestyle opportunities, yet we are forced by our gender and peer pressure to accept our fate and show acceptance of our circumstances.

We don’t hear “Go marry a doctor, find a princess to look after you” from our fathers. We are expected to be producers and providers, and nothing less is satisfactory.

It doesn’t matter what the people chat about at chic dinner parties; about a new world order with stay at home dads being fashionable and acceptable. The reality is, this is not mainstream, it’s statistically rare, and is not remotely realistic for most couples.

Even in 2012, women are still dealt a poor hand with salaries and wages, which have not reached parity with men in many occupations, making the theory of a sole female breadwinner, escapist fiction. It’s almost fact now, that to attain even middle class status, both partners need to be contributing.

Yet some women want it all, the white picket fence, huge home, getaways and stylish minivan, but elect to invoke “the mommy clause” straight out of the workforce into mommy-hood, and rely on their “man” to provide it all.

Fortunately, the most prolific change in the marital world today, is that the majority of women aren’t satisfied with mommy- hood, and are working not only in the workforce, but also serving their families, in what must be the most under-appreciated job on earth. The working mom.

Now only if society, corporations and husbands would recognize this, show due respect and compensate them fairly.

But even better, and far more constructive, would be for the career mommies’ to stop using all that spare time to blog tediously about mommy-hood , and use it constructively to support their sisters in the workforce. To affect change, growth, and understanding, for working women everywhere.

They would find out that they would be helping themselves down the road, because when the the gravy train runs out and circumstances change, they too might have to join the workforce.

More Adult Reality Check 101 articles

About the Author

Jeff Hunkin is a 47-year-old Community Service Worker working with autistically challenged male adults in Vernon. The son of a retired Edmonton city policeman, Hunkin was raised and educated in both BC and Alberta. Hunkin continued his studies of the Human experience for over 10 years, in 7 provinces, 3 states, 15 cities and at least a 100 postal codes.

At times he has known the privilege of materialistic wealth and at others lived in a world of harsh poverty.  He has loved and lost more than most people see in a lifetime, he has been a free, happy and unbridled spirit, yet for a period of time, imprisoned within the depths of depression, all the while studying and observing the human experience unfold before him.

Hunkin's subjects are the very topics we usually discuss in our staff rooms, coffee shops or dinner parties. For whatever reason; being fear-based, being politically correct, or just no mainstream media theatres of discussion, these subjects rarely see the ink of print. HER side, his side, their side, your side, you may not like it, but someone will. Hunkin will take it, talk about it, run with it, roll with it, and see where it takes us all.

If you want to contact Jeff Hunkin about this week's column please e-mail - [email protected]

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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