Ad-Libbed
You're safe if you avoid eye contact
Shhhhh…if you’re reading this, please don’t make any noise. I’m hiding in my bedroom right now, typing very quietly in the dark and...
Dog days of summer
Hello, my fine friends, and welcome to August in the Okanagan, where the days are long and the living is easy. There are a hundred wonderful things about summer...
A fool and my parting money
Maybe it’s the heat, but lately I’ve been finding myself a bit short-tempered, especially when random salespeople call me to infer that, financially...
Time is NOT on my side
Remember when you were a kid and it seemed like you had too much time? I can remember being eight years old and having so much free time that I didn’t...
Laundry epiphanies
Like any decent husband, I do my fair share of the household chores. I empty the dishwasher when the dishes are clean, I take out the garbage before it evolves...
A manly man versus candy cane bliss
I got home from work the other day and my wife met me in the doorway. Apparently I had arrived in the nick of time, for we had a vitally urgent family matter to...
Daytime TV has stolen my IQ
Occasionally I leave the office and eat my lunch at home. I get to spend an hour away from the daily grind, plus I get the added bonus of catching a few minutes...
Thor's Guide to Home Repair
One of the best things about owning your own five-year-old is that five-year-olds are notoriously easy to impress. Take home repair, for example. When my...
Risking my life for toast
Dear God, whatever you do with the rest of your life, DO NOT MAKE TOAST BEFORE READING THIS FIRST! At least, that’s the impression I got from the little...
Fashionably dysfunctional
Recently my wife threatened to throw away all my clothes. Given the tone with which she made the statement, not only could I tell she was serious, but I also...
Can you freeze nuclear waste?
Like any responsible human being, I don’t let my friends do stupid things. I’m happy to be the Jiminy Cricket voice of reason that prevents them...
Ad-libbed versus the spider
Last night I faced down the spider. We’ve had a spider living in our basement for several days now, and he’s huge. Since last Saturday when I first...
My superdog is a super wuss
Okay, picture this scenario: It’s night, and you and your family lay fast asleep while your faithful warrior dog Achilles – a majestic Bullmastiff...
Do ballerinas throw bodychecks?
Forgive me if you end up with glitter on your keyboard after reading this column today. The Ad-libbed household spent last weekend at our first dance...
Always strike while the BBQ is hot
Tonight I smelled the inevitable, and “the inevitable” smelled a lot like barbecued chicken. I call it the inevitable because, deep down in my...
How NOT to give a cat a pill
“You need me to do what?” We were sitting in the car in the driveway outside the house of one of Eldest Daughter’s friends, for whom...