Lexi's story: West Kelowna family calls for change, awareness after child's suicide

Change urged after death

Photo: Kathy Michaels

Ryan Marshall (left) and Dwight Blackwood are looking for changes after the death of Lexi.

Warning: This story discusses youth suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, here’s where to look for help: Canada’s Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call or text 988. Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868. Text 686868. Live chat counselling on the website. Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention: Find a 24-hour crisis centre.

Lexi Blackwood, a 12-year-old middle school student, seemed to be enjoying a fairly typical winter break when she penned a note to her family, telling them she loved them.

Shortly thereafter, she died by suicide.

It’s been a month since that night, and her family, though stunned and grieving, has been outspoken about her death.

Her grandfather, Dwight Blackwood, started the conversation with an angrily worded Facebook post about the hurtful comments and bullying Lexi faced from peers. He said Friday his comments drew more than a million interactions, and he’s since heard from countless people with loved ones who suffered similar experiences to "little Lexi."

Lexi's mother, Courtney Blackwood, also made an impassioned plea for kindness and better supports of youth who are suffering. "I am angry. I am heartbroken. And I am demanding that we stop pretending (bullying) is just part of growing up," she said in an online post that has been shared thousands of times.

The family doesn’t intend to stop speaking about what they believe led their gentle girl to a decision they will forever grieve.

“We don’t want to see anyone else going through what we’re going through right now,” Lexi's dad, Ryan Marshall, said Friday.

"We're just hoping Lexi's story can get through to households and help promote mental health awareness.”

He wants that awareness to lead to better interventions from trained professionals. He also wants young people to remember their words can cut deeper than they realize, and that there's no way to know what a person is dealing with beyond what they see.

“That's what we're going for,” he said. “If we can stop one other family from going through this, that's our goal here. That's it."

Marshall said Lexi's struggles reached a boiling point last fall, when ridiculing comments at school eroded her confidence and she withdrew from the life she was once cheerfully engaged in.

"She would come down and get ready for school. She got her bag ready, packed up, and then we’d find her upstairs crying in her bed, saying, 'I can't, I can't go to school today.'

"She would never say, 'I want to hurt myself or hurt anyone else', but she just could not get the energy to pick herself up off her bed and go to school for the day," Marshall said.

"It was basically life-changing for her. She didn't want to go see her friends, didn't want to (engage in a) daily routine at all."

He and his wife contacted the school to express their concerns. Marshall said two emails in October laid out those worries, including what they believed were early fears self-harm could follow.

As conditions worsened, Lexi missed two weeks of school in November and was referred to a counselling centre to assess her need for professional intervention. Sitting beside her parents, he said, she was asked whether she was thinking about self-harm.

"Who's going to say 'yes' while sitting between their parents? We believe they should have looked at those answers and read between the lines," he said.

"You have a 12 year old girl crying, maybe there's something more to this, even though she says no, perhaps the answer is actually yes."

Her answers indicated she was not high risk, he said, so the appointment was put off for a couple of months.

In the meantime, Lexi briefly returned to school with measures in place to ease her anxiety. Among other things, she was allowed to leave class early to avoid crowded hallways and the taunts she feared, she could bring a phone with her, and change classes if she wished.

Marshall said he picked her up for lunch and after school, and there seemed to be some improvement in her mood, though even then he feared the measures that were put in place fell short of a solution.

The district, in a statement, did not directly respond to the family’s concerns about its efforts or observations regarding bullying.

Central Okanagan Public Schools extended its “deepest sympathy to the family as they cope with this unimaginable loss.”

Stating it cannot comment on individual students or incidents, a district representative said its foremost priority is the safety and emotional well-being of students and staff.

“Schools align within the provincial ERASE (Expect Respect & A Safe Education) framework, which supports safe, inclusive, and caring learning environments. Concerns related to student safety and well-being, including bullying behaviours, are taken seriously and addressed when raised,” the statement issued Friday read.

The district also encouraged students and families to reach out to a trusted adult at school or in the community if they need help or support.

Marshall said the district’s statement mirrored what the family heard when they sought help, but that he believes there should have been more outreach, follow-up, and guidance from professionals.

"You're left to fend for yourself ... Here are the resources. You got to go do it yourself," he said, adding that services reaching out to the family or Lexi were needed and woefully lacking.

He’d like to see more outreach even now. He said three parents approached him Thursday alone, saying they hadn’t heard anything that would reflect what happened to Lexi and they too were concerned.

There wasn't even a letter suggesting parents “quickly sit down with your children” and talk about bullying, he said.

“There's serious stuff happening, not saying it's your kids, but just a general awareness,” he said.

Dwight has an admittedly tougher stance. He said he’d like to see more serious consequences for bullying and name-calling, saying he doesn’t foresee change without it. He added that youth suicide rates aren’t improving.

A report commissioned by B.C.’s chief coroner last October lends weight to that perception.

Dr. Jatinder Baidwan convened a panel in March 2025 to review 435 deaths of young people aged nine to 25 who died by suicide between Jan. 1, 2019, and Dec. 31, 2023.

The report found an average of 22 deaths annually among 9- to 18-year-olds and 65 among 19- to 25-year-olds in B.C., with rates remaining consistent over the five-year period. Suicide is the second most prevalent cause of death among children and youth in B.C., and the third among young adults aged 19 to 29.

"While the number of young lives lost to suicide in British Columbia has remained relatively unchanged over the last several years, little progress has been made in terms of understanding, recognizing and reducing risk," the report said.

The review listed five recommendations, including a provincial suicide risk-reduction framework focused on youth and young adults, improved training for medical professionals, better data collection, and a review of existing student resources in B.C.

If you're worried someone you know may be at risk of suicide, you should talk to them about it, says the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention. Here are some further resources.