Beauty in the ordinary

Fill in the blank.  I’ll be happy when______.

I’ll be happy when I get the job, or the perfect partner.

I’ll be happy when I lose this weight, or finish this next project.

A new house, a new car, a bigger bank account.

The list goes on and on.

We hear this phrase all the time, as we fall into the cultural trend of trying to get to some illusive destination.

Recently, I heard one dear woman wishing away a joyous celebration event, intended to bring a host of wonderful people together to celebrate.

“I’ll be happy when this is all over!”

This statement really caused me to pause and reflect on our tendency to postpone happiness and joy to some far-off date that never seems to arrive.

It’s an interesting exercise to remember when we wanted what we currently have, and consider whether we are any happier now that we have it. Or, have we fallen into that age-old human tendency to set our happiness target on another future date that never seems to arrive?

This past weekend, I participated in a revealing happiness exercise. Through this exercise, we became aware that happiness is already here, but we often overlook it.

We were asked to share with a partner, over-and-over, the answer to the question, “what brings you joy?”

This exercise revealed that it is the simple things in life, the every day, and the ordinary things that offer the greatest joy.

Such things as family time, the joyful laughter of children, the sound of birds singing, and the feel of clean, fresh sheets on the bed were on the expansive list of joyful things.

Beautiful music, a breath-taking sunset, the feel of warm sunshine on the skin, and the hug from a loved one were also frequent flyers on the joy list.

What we were drawn to remember is, it’s not the big things, the huge accomplishments that we focus on and life’s energy pursuing that matter the most. It’s the simple things, the every day and ordinary things, that provide a source for happiness.

This exercise caused me to pause and reflect on the richness of my life. I began to consider potential moments of happiness and joy scattered throughout the day, which often missed in the busyness of living. I’ve taken them for granted.

Often, we don’t know how much something means to us until it is no longer there.

I learned this lesson a long time ago.

When I was a teen, my Dad, who was bright and chipper in the morning, used to come into my room to wake me up. “Good morning! The day is bright, and the sun is shining! It’s time for all sleepy heads to roll out of bed,” he’d call out.

I’d moan, roll over, just wanting a few more minutes of sleep. His chipper way seemed like an annoyance to my sleepy teen attitude.

When I moved into nurse’s residence, how I longed for that warm, chipper call to start the day. I cried every morning for a week as the shrill sound of my alarm blasted from across the room. How I missed my gentle, chipper Dad. I recognized how much happiness his warm morning greeting offered me, if only I’d recognized it at the time.

When I moved back home, I smiled and savoured Dad’s morning call, aware of the meaning of his loving alarm.

Our happiness is often found in what we already have, and we miss it when we’re not aware and take it for granted.

The magic of living, the joy of life often surrounds us. We miss out when we’re not awake and aware of those simple, little things that matter the most.

What brings you joy?

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.