The Happiness Connection  

Be clear, and get results

For many, this time of year brings transition.

Graduates from high school or university are faced with the question, “What next?” This isn’t the first or last time they will ask that question.

Humans are meant to grow and learn. As you progress through life, you will change and want something new, or different than you currently have. This might be a new home, job, or relationship.

When I work with people who are in transition, they are much more likely to know what they don’t want than what they do.

Because in primitive times danger was more important to notice than safety, you are programmed to pay greater attention to things that spark negative feelings.

Being aware of this tendency is important.

If you only notice what you don’t want, you will get stuck in a loop that has no resolution. Before you can find the job, you want, you need to know what that is.

A word of warning. Don’t get caught up in the physical details.

Instead, focus on how you want to feel and some of the specific tasks or responsibilities the position might include.

The same goes for those of you who want a new house or relationship. How do you want to feel when you are with that person or in that home? It doesn’t matter how tall someone is if they communicate with you, and make you feel valued.

If you get a very specific picture in your mind, you might miss a type of job, home, or person you didn’t know existed, but is the perfect fit for you.

If you think your dream position is being a party planner, and focus specifically on that job, you may miss a fabulous opportunity as an event manager for a large company. Being too specific about the physical, doesn’t suit in this instance.

Start getting clear by asking yourself some questions.

Let’s use finding a job as our example.

  • How do you want to feel when you are getting ready to go to work?
  • How do you want to feel when you think about the job you do, or tell someone else about it?
  • What work values are important to you? (Connection, trust, responsibility, good management, respect, informality, work/life balance, growth, fun, etc.)
  • Choose your top three or four from the above list.
  • What skills do you have or want to develop? (Computer, logical thought, problem solving, research, practical, management, bookkeeping, working with people, leadership, teaching, creative, writing, etc.)
  • Which of these skills do you enjoy, or find satisfying? Cross out anything you don’t enjoy.

This is the start of your dream job board.

When interior designers begin a project, they often create a sample board. They put colours, fabrics, finishes, and other elements of the room they are decorating, onto the board.

Nothing is permanent. As they collect items, they can remove anything that no longer seems to fit and add in new ones that they discover.

This is the same technique used when people create vision boards. They take words and pictures from a variety of sources and put them onto a board. This is hung somewhere visible so they can see and remember what they want.

In the case of a dream job board, use the questions above to assist you to find words and pictures that portray how you want your job to make you feel and the skills you want to use or develop.

If you are currently employed with an organization, but aren’t in love with what you do, being clearer can help you find ways to adjust your job, so you enjoy it more.

Your thoughts create your reality. They establish the perspective you view your life from.

Your thoughts are created from the things you notice or focus on. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like or want, shift your view to what you do.

Get clear, get focused, and then get results.

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About the Author

Reen Rose is an experienced, informative, and engaging speaker, author, and educator. She has worked for over three decades in the world of education, teaching children and adults in Canada and England.

Research shows that happy people are better leaders, more successful, and healthier than their unhappy counterparts, and yet so many people still believe that happiness is a result of their circumstances.

Happiness is a choice. Reen’s presentations and workshops are designed to help you become robustly happy. This is her term for happiness that can withstand challenge and change.

Reen blends research-based expertise, storytelling, humour, and practical strategies to both inform and inspire. She is a Myers Briggs certified practitioner, a Microsoft Office certified trainer and a qualified and experienced teacher.

Email Reen at [email protected]

Check out her websites at www.ReenRose.com, or www.ModellingHappiness.com

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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