Hippie Olympics

I read that the International Olympic Committee has recognized Frisbee as an official Olympic event.

Why not?

It's a popular pastime with many people, and I personally know a few aging hippies who still do not go anywhere without a Frisbee.

Kind of makes you wonder what the drug tests will find.

Doctor: 

“Hmmm, it seems you have multiple recreational drugs in your system, but no performance-enhancing drugs.”

Aging hippie Olympian: 

“What, man? Hey, are you going to eat that doughnut?”

All kidding aside, there are some very amazing Frisbee players out there. By the way, Frisbee is the name of the company that popularized the flying disc, but it has become synonymous with the activity, so people just call it frisbee. Like Band-Aid, a brand name, but so common that people call anything that covers a wound a bandaid.

But I'm sure you already knew all that, so I will move on.

There are some incredible flying disc players out there, and I spent many an hour in my youth throwing a small, round piece of plastic back and forth with my friends.

No comment on what else we were doing at the time.

Frisbee can join a variety of interesting Olympic events that have come and gone over the years, events such as solo synchronized swimming.

Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't that just be called swimming, or fancy swimming, or single-person dance swimming or whatever? How can it be synchronized if you are by yourself?

The solo synchro event lasted only a couple of Olympics. Gee, I wonder why.

The 1908 Olympics featured tug-o-war as an official event. That was also the year they had the dreaded Red Rover, Red Rover Come on Over competition and the gruelling egg toss.

In the 1900s, live pigeon shooting was actually an Olympic event. It only lasted a single Olympics (for good reason), and 300 live pigeons were blasted with shotguns.

I am not sure who won the gold in that event, but I heard his last name was Palmer and his great grandson went on to be a dentist.

Probably not true, but it would make sense.

The 1900 Olympics were an odd year, with some very odd sports. Along with massacring pigeons, athletes competed in the underwater swimming competition. The rules were simple: points were awarded for the longest distance and the most time spent under water.

Not a great spectator sport, and it was dropped after just one outing. Motor-boating was held in 1908 where 'athletes' simply drove their motorized boats around a course. The fastest boat won, simple as that.

I am not sure how much athletic prowess it takes to sit in a boat and drive around in circles, but based on the many rednecks I have seen doing the same thing on area lakes, the hardest part would be not spilling your beer in the corners.

Rope climbing was dropped from the official Olympic line up in 1932. But according to a news feature, professional rope climbers are keeping the sport alive.

First of all, I did not even know there was such a thing as professional rope climbers. How does someone become a professional rope climber in the first place?

Can't skate? Can't dribble a ball? Too clumsy for soccer? Perhaps rope climbing is your call in life.

So why not add flying disc throwing to the Olympics? It is something a lot of people can do, or have done in the past. It is visual, and it will give all those old hippies something to do.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.