The Happiness Connection  

Learn to enjoy yes

Do you have problems saying no?

Do you find yes slipping from your lips every time you are asked to get involved with a project, volunteer at your child’s school, or help at a charitable event?

If getting involved feels right to you, keep saying yes, but remember that no is also an available answer. If your gut, or intuition nudges you to say no, say it.

Don’t say yes, unless it feels right. Tune into your intuition, and ask yourself which answer fits best with your sense of authenticity. You should feel moved in some way to get involved, if you are going to agree.

I have friends who say yes, even if they don’t want to do it, or it is going to add tremendous stress to their lives. Always saying yes can bring problems, but it also brings opportunities to boost your well-being.

Helping others, seeing yourself as part of a bigger picture, and getting involved with an organization or charity, are ways to increase your happiness. You won’t experience this unless you say yes.

Saying yes to everything you get asked to help with, can be overwhelming, but never saying YES may mean you are missing out.

If you want to boost your level of satisfaction with life, you should make sure you say yes to new experiences.

New experiences almost always push you out of your comfort zone. The more often you venture into the unknown, the easier it is, but it is rarely completely comfortable.

We love our comfort zones, because we know what to expect when we are in them. With new experiences comes a journey into the unknown.

I am on Facebook Live three times a week with my ‘100 Ways for Happiness’ challenge. I started with a jar containing 100 things you can do to boost your happiness. On Friday I drew, ‘Do something you have never done before.’

I had been thinking about trying hot yoga for quiet awhile, so I took this as a sign. The time had come to put that intention into action.

Just in case you think I am an experienced yogi, and was just doing it in a heated room for the first time, let me clarify. I had never ever gone to a yoga class. This would be my first one.

Was I nervous? Yes, but I tried to lessen this by gathering advice and information from my yogi friends and preparing as best I could.

The class was nothing like I had imagined it to be. I got a few questioning looks and comments about starting with a Power class, but what can I say? The time was convenient.

An advantage of aging, is being less concerned with how you look in other people’s eyes. I don’t worry about being embarrassed, like I did when I was younger. I went to the class, was proud of how much I could do, and felt like a conqueror.

I have learned to enjoy new experiences for whatever they offer. I firmly believe that you never know what you will enjoy, unless you try it.

Humans are hardwired to find satisfaction in new experiences. The sense of accomplishment that comes when you complete the new activity, especially if it makes you step well out of your comfort zone, makes you feel good.

The more you do new things, the more you trust that you will survive, and possibly even thrive in new situations.

If you are a parent, it is important for you to model this behaviour for your children. If you try new things, chances are, so will they.

Trying new things does not have to involve risking life, or limb. Common sense should be evident when deciding whether something you have never done before, is worth doing.

Don’t do anything that is dangerous to you, or anyone else involved. Discuss this ground rule with your children as you encourage them to say yes to new experiences.

Your goal is to show them that stepping into the unknown, can ultimately be an enjoyable experience, not for them to become unthinking risk takers.

When working with children, I describe comfort zones as places to live, and stepping out of them as taking a holiday.

Every new experience is not guaranteed to be pleasurable. Share the negative emotions you feel when you try something new, as well as the elation that may come when you complete it.

For the next seven days, I challenge you to say yes to everything you get asked to do, — as long as it is a short-term commitment, and isn’t dangerous.

For anyone who has difficulty saying no, rest assured that it could be worse. You will miss out far more in life if you have difficulty saying yes.

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About the Author

Reen Rose is an experienced, informative, and engaging speaker, author, and educator. She has worked for over three decades in the world of education, teaching children and adults in Canada and England.

Research shows that happy people are better leaders, more successful, and healthier than their unhappy counterparts, and yet so many people still believe that happiness is a result of their circumstances.

Happiness is a choice. Reen’s presentations and workshops are designed to help you become robustly happy. This is her term for happiness that can withstand challenge and change.

Reen blends research-based expertise, storytelling, humour, and practical strategies to both inform and inspire. She is a Myers Briggs certified practitioner, a Microsoft Office certified trainer and a qualified and experienced teacher.

Email Reen at [email protected]

Check out her websites at www.ReenRose.com, or www.ModellingHappiness.com

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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