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The Dad Vibe

What Dads really want on Father's Day...

Forget Christmas, my birthday, or even Halloween - Father’s Day is my favourite day of the year. Not for the commercialism or gifts I may receive, but for this amazing opportunity I have been given: to be a father.

Happy Father’s Day to all those men playing a significant role in the life of a young person! With the arrival of our new little boy, Eli John on May 20th, I am now a proud, exhausted father of four.

During one of the quieter moments in the hospital, Eli’s mom asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day. I held up our new son and said, "this is the best gift ever.” She pushed on, “No really, what is the best Father’s day gift we could give you?”

Forget the mugs, ties, and Speedos.

Aside from art and killer cute cards from your children, I’ll tell you what every dad REALLY wants on Sunday…

Sex, Respect, and Appreciation. That’s it. PERIOD. (Maybe even in that order)

 

SEX: Let’s not ‘beat around the bush’, the best gift from your loving partner isn’t a high tech gadget, it’s sex and physical intimacy. We don’t want sex out of obligation or as a favour. All men yearn to be desired. We have a need to be “needed”. Physical intimacy is a vital piece of a loving relationship – the glue that can hold the relationship together.

Yes, love, honour, mutual respect are other cornerstones, but hey, sex is in the “cornerstone dialogue” and anyone that thinks it isn’t important is a big fat liar and/or a terrible lover.

Involved dads are much like NBA players: genetically superior. There are thousands of women out there clamouring for our attention and consideration, but we have chosen only one person to spend the rest of our life with, and baby it’s you. Congrats! But with this exclusivity comes an understanding and mutual benefits.

 

RESPECT: What father doesn’t want respect from his partner and his kids? But I agree with Tiger Woods' father Earl: respect must be earned. If you are consistently the role model for what a ‘good man’ looks like, then respect from your partner and kids should naturally flow.

 

APPRECIATION: Society is beginning to truly appreciate this “involved dad” epidemic. From suddenly proud stay-at-home dads to the increased acceptance of working dads juggling work and family life, great dads are no longer “babysitting our kids to give mom a break…” We are being parents to our kids, just like mom. We are equally skilled and possess the same intention as mom, to love our kids with all our hearts.

 

While some big corporations still peg dad as a bumbling idiot, or strangely absent (did everyone else enjoy the “Thanks Mom” Olympic ads that Proctor and Gamble ran?), mass media and most companies now seem to “get it” and are now showcasing caring “parents” not just a caring mom.

For Father’s Day, I don’t need anything purchased from a store; I have everything one man could ever want.

When we walk to school and my daughter takes my hand or when our entire family cuddles in on one couch, I embrace the magic and hold tight with both hands.

I know I am a very lucky man.

I know these are the good old days.

I know these days are fleeting and I need to lean into my role of dad everyday. To me, everyday is Father’s day.

So I really don’t need anything this Sunday, but… hold on, wait a second,” {cue 70s porn music}, “Who looks like he needs a massage?” Me? Well… yes honey, maybe we…” Bow chicka wah wah

What do YOU want for Father’s Day?

Until next time…



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About the Author

Jeff Hay… is a Kelowna based writer, motivational speaker, parenting coach, and father of three. Along with writing for Castanet, Jeff also writes for the Huffington Post, the Good Men Project, and the National Fatherhood Initiative in the United States.  When he is not playing his favourite role of “DAD”, Jeff is speaking throughout Canada as a popular parenting educator and working on his website – www.thedadvibe.com and his parenting book for Dads, “Wait Till Your Father Gets Home!” Jeff dedicates his life’s work to improving the well-being of children by increasing the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible, and committed fathers.

E-mail Jeff your thoughts or questions anytime at [email protected]

 




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The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet presents its columns "as is" and does not warrant the contents.


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