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A kid to share a drink with!

I had time to kill waiting for a friend at a pub.

I knew no one in this pub, yet sitting on that bar stool, on a cloudy Tuesday afternoon, I received one of the best pieces of parenting advice ever from the Irish gent sitting two bar stools away.

Long story short, after awkward introductions, we struck up a lively animated conversation about our families. When I mentioned to him that I was a writer, interested in parenting from a dad’s point of view, my new friend Danny (imagine that) said that all he ever wanted to do was to “raise a son that I’d like to have a drink with!”

At first, the skeptic pessimist in me assumed Danny would likely have a drink with anyone, but then I realized what he really meant. He was so right.

His theory was so simple yet encompassed so many of my core values.

If I was to picture myself in a pub sometime in the future, and in walks a familiar stranger that sits on the stool beside me…

(if the pub/alcohol angle of this piece bothers you, pretend you are both sipping on blueberry pomegranate smoothies with flax, tofu, and the protein blaster added)

  • I would want to hang out with someone that was cool, socially aware, confident, and interesting.
  • I would value their intelligent conversation and their genuine interest in me and the world around us.
  • I would relish their positive energy, quick wit, and active listening.

I would not want to have a drink with someone that kept interrupting me, complained too much, and was not polite to me or the staff.

I would quickly distance myself from someone that was belligerent and only talked about themselves.

I would not want to spend any time at all with someone that was narrow minded, opinionated, racist, or homophobic.

This list could go on and on, but I think you know what I mean.

In life, you want to surround yourself with positive, happy, genuine people, not idiots and energy suckers.

Like not wanting to spend five hours on a golf course with a jerk, everyone’s time is precious and, just like Grandpa Orval always says, “Nobody likes an A-Hole”.

So moving forward as a dad, I apply Danny’s wisdom to my life and parenting philosophy. I realize that if I want to raise my children to be great, all around balanced people, I need to be all those positive things NOW! They need to see it live and in person!

Like Gandhi uttered, be the change you seek.

I will continue to be genuinely interested in their lives and the world.

I will demonstrate real listening, social intelligence, and compassion.

While I am not responsible for their happiness, I will lead by example and choose kindness.

I will raise a friend a friend would love to have a drink with. And so should YOU!

I’ll drink to that! Sláinte (to your health) Danny Boy!

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.



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About the Author

Jeff Hay is a Kelowna-based writer, motivational speaker, parenting coach, and father of four.

Along with writing for Castanet, Jeff also writes for the Huffington Post, the Good Men Project, and the National Fatherhood Initiative in the United States. 

When he is not playing his favourite role of 'DAD', Jeff speaks throughout Canada as a popular parenting educator, working on his website – www.thedadvibe.com, and writing his parenting book for dads, “Wait Till Your Father Gets Home!

Jeff dedicates his life to improving the well-being of children by increasing the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible, and committed fathers.

E-mail Jeff your thoughts or questions anytime at [email protected]

 



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The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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