Choice.

It’s not a big word, but it provides the single most fundamental influence on how our lives will unfold. By definition it means “to select from a number of possibilities.” It is the power, the right, or the liberty to pick by preference. Sometimes, we make choices from a place of awareness. Sometimes, we make choices completely unconsciously.

To me, exercising choice and then taking full responsibility for the consequence of that choice is the definition of personal empowerment. Owning my part in this process opens the doors to creating more of what I do want and less of what I don’t want. It reminds me that I am, indeed, in the driver seat.

Being a victim of life or circumstance is a highly overrated experience. Yet, it seems to fester in our world like a deep and angry sore. In my opinion, feeling victimized by anything outside of myself is a clear indication that I haven’t accepted the choices I’ve made that brought me to that particular juncture in my life. It has nothing to do with blame and everything to do with either maintaining, or giving away, my personal power. Nobody can do anything “to me” if I haven’t chosen to be there in the first place. Again, I’m not talking about guilt or blame. People can do horrible things to each other and I’m not suggesting we take responsibility for another person’s unkind or unloving actions. All I’m suggesting is that we take responsibility for our own.

About fifteen years ago, I took a workshop that provided a lesson in the Law of Attraction. The premise was that we attract to ourselves every situation, circumstance, or experience we have. Good or bad. At first, I had a hard time understanding that. One of the participants (a particularly miserable one) offered her own personal experience of being hit by a car that went through a red light. The other driver was one-hundred percent to blame and she wanted to know how anyone could say she had attracted or chosen that experience.

The beauty about taking responsibility for our choices is that it is exactly the same as taking responsibility for the truth. The teacher had the participant run through all the choices she had made the day of the accident, right up until the moment the accident occurred. She had chosen to drive to her mother’s house that day. She had chosen to stop for gas and linger for a few extra moments to talk to an acquaintance. She had chosen to take the back route that brought her to that particular intersection at that particular time. Had she chosen to be hit by the car? Absolutely not. That was an accumulation of the other driver’s choices. But, she had chosen to be there right at that moment. She was not a “victim” of circumstance she had been in the driver’s seat all along (literally and figuratively).

“So?” you ask, “What good does taking responsibility for being there do for me?” Well, on further discussion, this woman revealed that she had been angry and withdrawn in the month since the accident. She had nearly lost her job because of depression and was drinking heavily. She was spending every waking moment trying to find a lawyer who would sue this person for every penny he had. Her entire life had gone from a place of joy to one of complete upset. She was miserable.

After the exercise of taking responsibility for her choices, this woman had a miraculous turnaround. She dropped the lawsuit and the insurance company gave her a settlement that was beyond what she had expected. She chose to be grateful for not being hurt in the accident and sent a card to the other driver who had been hurt, wishing for a speedy recovery. She got excited about buying a new car. By the end of the week, she was a happy, positive person. It was a complete transformation.

So, what really does “taking responsibility for our choices” do for us? Did it take away the fact that this woman had been in the accident? No. What it did do was give her the opportunity to make a choice on how she wanted to feel about the accident. Getting out of the cycle of victim and blame put her on a platform to make a higher choice. The choice for peace. The choice to move on. I was privileged to be a witness to this woman’s experience and I choose to live by her example on a daily basis.

You have the infinite power to create your own life. Do you wish to embrace the truth of your experiences and open the doorway to move forward on a path of joy? Or not. That choice, my dear friends, is entirely up to you!