Once upon a time there was a “way” that guys talked. It was non-PC, no BS and with a certain verifiable truth (at least, as the speaker saw it) as a defining intention for even speaking in the first place. That’s why men grunt from time to time. Why talk at all if there’s no actual need? Sadly, this classic method of communication has largely given way to a sort of ineffectually soft and pleasantly neutral melange of claptrap more dedicated to protecting everyone’s “feelings” than passing on any legitimate attempt at “truth”. Personally, I think we as a gender are the worse off for it but hey, what do I know? (BTW, that was my chosen PC-closer to an ever-so slight attempt at guy-talk – I am sick). Sure, “guy talk” can be harsh and sometimes brutally judgmental but it sure made a dude think about things before opening his mouth.

Now, I believe a slight nostalgia for that kind of straight-forward verbal honesty is why I find the now-reappearing (and heavily rotating) Ford F-150 “Way of life’ spots so dead-on suited for their intended audience. Denis Leary, far and away one of the most note-perfect pitchman for guy-oriented products in the world, returns to the style of verbal barrage that made him famous so long ago. And that image he crafted (or lifted, if you buy the Bill Hicks conspiracy theory out there) is so indelible that just hearing the timber of his voice and the inherent snark it manages to mainline is more than enough to make anyone possessing a y-chromosome immediately stop from changing the channel. Without a doubt, Leary was the best choice Ford could have made.

The spot features shots of Ford’s muscular F-150 truck being put through its paces while gynormous, multi-colored cut-outs of the script (as delivered by Leary) pop up, frame events, spin and then smoothly yet with a staccato-like jump here and there move the commercial through to its conclusion. When Denis’ line read begins it’s perfectly clear that whatever brand of sissy you may be it’s best to keep it to yourself for the next sixty-odd seconds or so ‘cause the Ford F-150 is for gen-yoo-ine hard-working men and not a bunch of yarn hauling whiners (see yet another incarnation of the ad).

"Okay, odds are if you're one of those people in the country with a pick-up truck, it's not a luxury, it's a way of life. And chances are you aren't making your money pushing a pencil or hand modeling. You're probably working for every dollar and need your truck. So at a time when gas is more expensive than bourbon, and you gotta get more done in less time, it would be nice if there were a truck that had more to offer than just payload, towing and mileage numbers, well, the Eagle has landed.” Leary goes on from there, detailing just what makes his truck so darn cool versus the limp and obviously uninspired competition.

Now, as I am definitely one of “those” guys making a living as a pencil pusher (or key puncher, which is somehow even worse) I can attest to the fairly strong blow back effetes like me suffer when faced with someone who can actually build or fix something with their hands. Bottom-line: a guy that gets real things done is a man and men are what all boys want to be. So if buying a Ford can be seen to “man you up something good” that’s not exactly a bad way to sell a truck.

So can we expect a speedy return to the days of yore when such inconveniently masculine methods of speech prospered? Sadly, outside a viewing of big daddy Clint’s masterwork “Gran Torino” I suspect similar speech trends will remain locked down thanks to an alarmingly litigious grievance culture and the continued existence of seemingly well-intentioned but moronically ill-advised human rights commissions that continue to scar the face of any nation’s commitment to “free speech.”

I wonder if the Denis of old that Ford has managed to dig up could be prompted to volunteer his services as our new non-PC leader? Probably not, but maybe he might be willing to sign on as the voice you hear when you forget to put your seatbelt on. “Go ahead sunshine, don’t put the stupid belt on but don’t say I didn’t warn you about ripping your face open when you fly through the $%&!@ windshield into that daisy-stepping banker and his new Maserati.” Ahh truth, what a novel concept.