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Step-Into-Your-Power

Judgement

The reasons for dishonest behaviour can often be tied to judgement. People are worried they will be negatively or unfairly judged so they cover up the truth. The solution is to learn to accept yourself exactly as you are – warts and all – and when you can do this, you are able to be honest with others because it is no longer their judgement you are concerned about, it's yours, and yours alone.

A lack of acceptance usually stems from low self-esteem, which is fuelled by old, subconscious programs that you learned from others, be it a parent, teacher, coach or friend. Try to identify the root from which your dishonesty stems. Let's take cheating on your taxes, for example. On the surface (in your conscious mind) you may justify your actions by speaking negatively about the government, complaining about the unfair rate at which you're taxed. But subconsciously it's likely the real reason you are cheating is because you are worried about lack of resources. You are trying to find ways to cut corners because you have convinced yourself there "isn't enough", that you don't have the funds to pay the balance owing. This is especially true of self-employed individuals. There is a belief that being self-employed means staying small in terms of paying taxes – after all, writing off expenses is touted as a big benefit of being self-employed. And while that is true, trying to avoid paying taxes is only keeping you from reaching your fullest potential as an entrepreneur. When you have monies owing at year-end it's a reflection of the success you have achieved over the last 12 months. The solution requires you to save money to pay taxes, or better yet, pay them quarterly, which means being responsible and realistic with your finances, but it's a relatively easy adjustment to make. When you change your viewpoint, everything changes.

Speaking of viewpoints, do you judge other people through gossip and complaining? Everyone does at one point or another but it's important to break this detrimental behaviour, especially if it's something you do on a regular basis. Instead of focusing on the faults of others, think of yourself as a "full time job" in terms of self-development and let go of what others are doing, or not doing, with their lives. Keep your attention on the character traits that you would like to improve about yourself rather than deflecting to others and you will soon find you are no longer giving your energy to their shortcomings. As you begin to gently guide yourself to healthier actions and reactions you will become more compassionate with yourself and others.

If you want to talk about others, find some positive role models and speak their praises. When you make the switch to look for positive qualities in another it helps you do the same for yourself. When you acknowledge and appreciate the good parts of you and let go of self-judgement you are more able to identify and appreciate the goodness in those around you.

As we get older we tend to judge less. You have likely noticed people mellow with age. Why does this occur? Because a whole bunch of things you were certain you would never do, say or participate in, actually came to pass. Perhaps you said you'd never cheat on a partner or leave a marriage; or become overweight; or be addicted to alcohol or gambling; yet despite best intentions, it happened. It's in that moment of truth that one realizes that when you judge another you may very well be judging yourself. As time passes we are better able to relate to the challenging circumstances of life. We learn that very few things in life are black and white and that most of us are doing the best we can in any given moment.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.



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About the Author

Tommi Hanley has a degree in journalism from Ryerson University. She owns an event company in Kelowna, Shop the Valley Destination Management and is the former lead instructor of the Event Promotions & Management program at the Centre for Arts and Technology. She launched her affiliate events company, purepower events with Kathy Reid in 2013.

Visit the purepower website here: http://www.purepowerevents.com

Contact e-mail: [email protected]

 

 



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The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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