Fear of change

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

- Socrates

Fear, (except when in a life-threatening, fight-or-flight experience) is an unwillingness or inability to embrace change. Humans are creatures of habit and have a fear of the unknown. When people or circumstances come along that alter or test your beliefs, way of living, or plans, the natural tendency is to revolt. Fear can cause you to stop moving towards a goal; question motives; recalculate the odds of success; or doubt yourself into complete inaction.

Photo: Contributed

Rage and other extreme emotional reactions are also responses to fear. The reality is that change is one of the few guaranteed occurrences in our lives. In order to manoeuvre through the many forks in the road of our destiny, we must learn how to adapt, accept or let go when change confronts us in order to overcome fear.

As children, major change in our lives can cause deep trauma. The death of a parent; a divorce; job loss; a move to a new city – these are all examples of changes children find difficult to adapt to and create a huge sense of fear. Often parents become so absorbed in the stress and turmoil of the situation, the feelings of the child are overlooked or downplayed, creating a bigger burden for the child to carry. In some cases, significant change can spark fear-based unhealthy reactions in the form of isolating, eating disorders, self-harm and the use of alcohol and/or drugs. When everything feels out of control, the child seeks a means to bury feelings that are too intense to process.

Overcoming the doubt, inaction, isolation and resignation that fear creates is not always easy, but it is possible and with practice, becomes achievable over time. There is a powerful adage that says "fear is lack of faith". When you apply a little faith to your situation it helps alleviate fear-induced inertia. Do you have faith in yourself? Consider that the power of God (or universal energy, or The Creator, or Mother Earth) that is inside you and all around you. In moments of stillness, draw on this powerful and loving energy and you can move past your fear.

Talk to a God of your understanding – ask for strength and guidance to overcome the challenge or change in front of you. Let go of your fear of judgment if you feel you may be the "cause" of the situation. The Creator does not judge, only loves and supports. The support is there for the asking. It is a simple and profoundly effective way to move through fear. Consider that this loving energy exists in everything visible and invisible including the people in your life. Walk in nature and draw on the wisdom and life-giving oxygen of the trees and plants. Hike to the top of a mountain and try not to feel the powerful energy that surrounds you. Breath it in; absorb it into the fiber of your being. Ask for help from those who you know and trust. Just as you enjoy the feeling of helping others, others are there for you, but you must be willing to ask. Let go of false pride and allow them to be of service to you.

Use faith to accept that change is inevitable and always brings positive outcomes and experiences - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. With faith and acceptance it is possible to view fear as a pathway to growth and expansion. Face your fears knowing you have the awareness and resources to overcome and conquer the things that cause you to retreat, hide, or "excuse" your way to inaction. Turn fear into excitement when new experiences or people come into your life. Look forward to the changes knowing you are becoming the stronger, more vibrant, flexible, accepting and loving person that you truly are.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.