I don't want to catch a break
Just now, I threw another ball into the air. At this point I think the current number of balls I am juggling is about 3,978 give or take (margin of error on this number is directly proportionate to my propensity to exaggerate). Suffice it to say there are professional clowns that are envious of my mad skills.
This week was beyond busy, and next week is shaping up to be just as bad. My "To Do List" is so extensive that I am experiencing carpal tunnel symptoms just writing it all down. Every time I check something off, I think of no less than three more things to add. Then my phone will ring, or an email will pop up, then I'll get a text and someone will comment on my Facebook status and, and and...
I know I am not the only person experiencing these challenges. I see the looks of quiet desperation on people's faces when they are forced to wait longer than two minutes at the Tim Horton’s drive thru. We might actually need to reassess our lives when we don't have time to wait for coffee.
What are we trying to prove? We will never finish it. It's a fool’s errand ... which reminds me, I have to pick up my dry cleaning and a new notepad so I can write more Lists.
Have you ever seen the hamster on the wheel chasing the cheese and never catching it? That's me. Just a crazed animal, furiously chasing the ever elusive achievement of being finished ... The List. Really, at this point I would be happy just to finish writing it; then at least I could get down to the 'doing' part of the exercise. Great, I forgot to write down exercise ... I wonder if extreme writing is considered cardio. It's times like this that having ADD can be both a curse and a blessing.
So how do I cope? I used to say things like, "I just need a break." I don't anymore. Why, you ask?
It was about this time, 9 years ago. I was feeling so overwhelmed that all I ever seemed to say was, “I need a break." I practically started and ended every sentence with those five words. Have you ever heard the phrase, 'be careful what you wish for?' The universe listens, and it thinks itself very funny. You see, as I was drowning in things I needed to do, and was calling out for a five minute timeout to pause and reflect, I was given just that.
I fell down the stairs and broke my back.
So I got the break I was looking for, with the added bonus of a literal break. I never ask for breaks anymore. Not a coffee break, a break in traffic, a spring break or even a commercial break.
I don't even like to talk about checking my brakes; I just do this crazy little wordless play indicating to my mechanic he should check them. Thank goodness he gets me now, because I'm not going to lie, the first time I did this, I failed to properly communicate my needs. That led to a few awkward moments where the possibility of a restraining order may or may not have been discussed.
So now, I just ask for what I actually want; a vacation on a sunny beach in the Caribbean. So far, the universe has been pretty stingy handing those out; probably because this lacks the comedic irony it yearns for.
So where's the 'Ah Ha!' moment of my story, the epiphany, the witty conclusion that ties this mad rant up in a nice bow and leaves you, the reader, feeling that all is well? To be honest, I don't actually know. I do know that it was undoubtedly freaking brilliant. You would have been so impressed. It might have changed the very fabric of your existence. Sadly, I wrote it down on one of The Lists and proceeded to put it in a safe place so I wouldn't lose it. We all know how that story always ends.
Read more Random Rants articles
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- Is it a swimsuit...or a cautionary tale? Jun 28
- The turtle people are coming Jun 14
- Grateful for my fortunate mistakes May 24
- The day peace and quiet ran away May 17
- The weekend that technology forgot May 10
- Call 911 - I'm busy being Zen! May 3
- Budget? I thought you said fudge it? Apr 26
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