Sometimes in life
Sometimes in life if you’re lucky, you will find a best friend.
Not just any friend, a best friend.
One who is more to you than most.
One who is goofy and fun,
who makes you laugh,
and is maybe even rude sometimes, but not to you.
But you don’t care anyway, it's all good.
He is your friend.
You love your time together.
He makes you feel as though you’re the be-all-and-end-all,
and that’s because you are, to him.
You do silly stuff together, and often it’s stuff he wants to do,
it's okay because he'll do anything you want to do too.
He is always finding the fun,
Sometimes you hike the woodland trails,
and he keeps you safe in the woods.
You keep him safe too.
“But if there’s a cougar,” he thinks, “you’re on your own.”
Sometimes you just hang out doing a bunch of nothing much at all,
And that's pretty nice too.
There are times when you feel at odds with the rest of the world,
but never with your friend, the two of you never fight.
Besides, he’s got that 'heartfelt repentance' look down cold,
although you’re pretty sure it's all a bit of an act.
And oh he has such terrible table manners.
He will gleefully steal the last slice of pizza, if you let him.
He hogs your time, and sometimes you kind of wish he wouldn't.
But when he's not around you kind of wish he would, so you seek him out.
He always knows when you're not happy, sometimes before you know.
And then he won't leave your side.
And oh how you love to hug him, because he feels so good, smells so good.
You two are best friends forever,
even though one day you know you’ll have to say goodbye.
"Yeah," you think, "but no."
The years pass, and small things change.
One day you see that he has grown old, when did that happen?
You feel uneasy about it until he smiles at you in the same old way.
You put your uneasy thoughts aside, you think, “yeah . . . but no,”
and off you go on another adventure.
Then one day it seems he isn’t smiling as much.
One day you cancel your holiday
because that uneasy feeling has returned.
You want to be around, just in case.
And sometimes you wish you were free of this growing sadness,
and free to do stuff with other friends.
It makes you feel terrible thinking such things,
imperfect human that you are.
The days pass, and your friend grows older faster than you thought possible.
He is a stoic though, and a liar too.
He sucks it up in a way you know you never could.
The day will come, the day has come,
when this old friend, your best friend, has to go,
and you need to let it happen, and so you do.
A bad night, you stay close by his side.
I think maybe he knows, I think you both know.
You hold him one last time before he leaves,
and you tell him that there'll never been a friend quite as good, quite as dear.
Then at the end of a stoic’s last heartbeat, he's gone,
and the loneliness crushes you until you can no longer breathe.
Time passes, a life passes, your friend has moved on.
You know that one day this will feel easier,
but right now there’s that space that can’t be filled.
One day you’re going to be alright.
Be patient, and wait for the sun to shine again.
That is all.
~ For Angus, my friend
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The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet presents its columns "as is" and does not warrant the contents.
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