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Old as dirt. Twice as gritty.

The Point(less) Zone
by Jo Slade - Story: 66187
Oct 20, 2011 / 5:00 am

 
You open this column in search of ways to procrastinate. You sense danger, you try to walk to the nearest exit, but the exit sign reads enter and the enter sign doesn’t read at all. Your brain cells start to falter, you click on a link, and then another. Soon you’ve forgotten why you wanted to leave. You’ve just crossed over into . . . the Point(less) Zone.
 
Whatever you do, don’t click on the cow. Over a million and a half foolishly did, don’t be part of the problem:
http://www.cowabduction.com
 
In your face, inter-face. Oh yeah:
http://www.alterfin.com/yariv
 
Before iPhone’s Siri, there was iGod. I told iGod that he was not as funny as iPhone’s Siri, and he replied, “Perhaps one day I will be as funny as Siri.” Probably not, but I appreciated the unbridled optimism:
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
 
A free resource of stealth-boat pictures, with open copyright, too. Go ahead, click on the image:
http://www.stealthboats.com
 
A (very) old favourite, I’m partial to it because it’s where I first heard ‘Voodoo Lady’ by Ween. Oh, and because Dancing Paul is such a dork:
http://www.dancingpaul.com
 
Get ready to type up a storm. hahahaha:
http://hahahaha.fr
 
A site that isn’t actually pointless at all. I’ve waited all my life for this:
http://www.rinkworks.com/movieaminute
 
The sands of time can be contained:
http://wonderfl.net/c/2rWu/fullscreen
 
Hardest test EVER. A real struggle, but you know what? I totally passed:
http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/%7Epennck/pboc/#
 
Whoa, holy Twilight Zone, this is 0 oh 0. Just keep on clickin’:
http://www.superbad.com/1/follow/index.html
 
Strange gets so strange that it hardly recognizes itself:
http://ml.hoogerbrugge.com
 
A little something for the more serious-minded, or at the very least, the Wikipedia-minded:
http://www.lkozma.net/wpv/index.html
 
Something for the student of linguistic adventures. Heavy, mon:
http://www.baconorbeercan.com
 
And for the finale, I am pleased to present a profoundly moving binary conversation. If you can get through all nine-point-something minutes of this without weeping salty tears of regret for the ten minutes lost, well, you’re a far better person than I. Or maybe just weirder.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIJ21xXz_t4
 
And *blip* just like that, the pointlessness ends. We now return you to your regularly scheduled pointful life, at least until next week.
Shaw
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About the Author

This bio was written by Jo Slade. As you can see she has written about herself in the third person. What normal person would do that? They just wouldn't. Who knows how many other persons might be involved in this thing, a second person? Another third? I worry about it. I - she - we - can't even keep it straight, this paragraph is a damn mess, there are persons all over the place. Round 'em up and shoot 'em. That's what I'd do, and by golly I think that's what Jo Slade would do as well.

Biographic nutshell: Jo has been messing around with words for a long time. Sometimes she'll just say words instead of writing them, it saves on paper.

This column: The columns that will appear here are of a highly serious and scholarly nature, therefore it is advised that you keep a dictionary and ponderous thoughts nearby.

If, after reading the column, you find yourself tossing and turning at night, burning with the need to email me, just do it. I answer to jo@castanet.net




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The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet presents its columns "as is" and does not warrant the contents.

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