Report into crash released
Fatal stabbing near pier
Harbour Air going electric
CRA will get the money: PM
PM tight-lipped on TikTok
Minister defends right to bail
Ukraine uses new missiles
Biden signs war aid measure
New US rules for airlines 
BoC officials split on rate cut
Big loss for Boeing 
Metro sales edged higher
Vees dominating Vipers
Warriors snakebitten in loss
Iginla off to Europe
Perry teams with Lu Kala
Megan denies harassment
Swift ‘one of the family’
Photo: Contributed
Hard to choose a topic this week. Teachers or ice buckets? Strikes or causes? Something that drives me crazy or something that drives me insane? It was a tough call. However, the BCTF strike is at the peak of passion as I type this on September 3, and some crazy hopeful part of me feels that it might actually be resolved by the time this column appears, so I’m going with ice buckets.
There’s no denying that online social media is a powerful mover and shaker, and is highly efficient at generating far-reaching new fads. Fads, almost without exception, annoy me, but there is one in particular that is chalk-on-a-blackboard irritating: the Cause-O-The-Day Awareness Schtick.
Awareness campaigns work on an assumption that we, the Great Unwashed, are clueless and in need of education by those (your friends, say) who are smarter and more aware about stuff. For example, it is assumed that you don’t know about a disease called breast cancer. You need awareness to find out that it is a bad thing, and so *blip* another awareness campaign is born to run alongside all the other diseases that you apparently knew nothing about.
You open up facebook to find an endless march of awareness campaigns lighting up your wall, with requests to like awareness posts, wear pink ribbons or bras, support someone theoretically planning a walk or run (‘theoretically’ as in ‘until something unforeseen gets in the way of actually doing it’), grow a mustache, post ridiculously coy status updates, shave your head, dump a bucket of ice water . . . whatever it takes, man, because, dammit, you care.
This is how awareness campaigns work:
1. Do because everybody else is doing it. You want to be cool, right?
2. Declare that you are doing it to raise awareness (because clearly nobody else has your level of awareness). Sure it will sound self-righteous, but that’s okay, your job is to lead the clueless into awareness.
3. Be brave about the gimmick you're doing, remember that although it might be cold or hard or stupid to do it makes you look really caring, and besides, you'll get tons of likes for it. You can feel really proud of yourself, so much so that you can announce on facebook that you’re feeling really proud of yourself.
4. If you are female and the gimmick involves dumping ice over yourself, you get to add a bit of titillation into the mix.
5. Once you've done the gimmick and posted about it so that everybody else knows how awesome you are, badger others to do the same, and be relentless about it. If they don't support your charity, they clearly don't support charity at all.
6. Only raise awareness for causes that are currently trending. Nobody wants to know about the boring non-trending diseases, even if they happen to affect more people than the trending ones. Be real here, you know that trending causes are hotter, sexier. They pop. Besides, going with the trends means you don't even have to research it, or give money. You just have to do the gimmick, whatever it is.
7. Sit back and bask in the knowledge that you are super altruistic, super caring, and, most importantly, now everybody knows that you are.
I’d like to offer an alternative way to help:
1. Donate money or time to the charity of your choice. And don't brag about it, just do it.
2. Leave other people the hell alone to do the same. If they don't donate to your charity, don't assume that they aren't donating to any charity, but do assume that in the end, it is none of your business one way or another.
3. Doing stupid/cutesy/trendy things to show that you care about a disease accomplishes nothing. If it's cancer, you don't have to shave your head or post a silly status update, if it's ALS, you don't have to dump ice over your head. Just donate your time or money or both, that will do just fine.
4. Don't be arrogant: believe it or not, if you are aware enough to know about the disease in question, chances are high that your friends and family are aware as well. Don't be arrogant (part II): badgering everybody to support whatever it is that you support is rude and always inappropriate.
5. Don't tell people that you personally know someone with the Disease-O-The-Day. Just about everybody knows someone with a horrible disease, everybody knows it is rough going.
6. If you really need your ego stroked, don't show off about the money you gave or the gimmick you did for charity. Just go to your mirror, gasp in awe, and kiss your image. There, aren't you beautiful? Now, if you need affirmation from your friends on facebook, post a selfie of that mirror kiss.
Climbing down off the Cause-O-Rama machine will make you less noticeably giving, sure, but remember this: doing good work is best done because you care, not because you need attention.
This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.
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