It's Sunny inside
First up: As you can see, I have returned like the proverbial bad penny. For those who wondered where in hell I was, all I can say: alien abduction. For those who didn’t actually notice me gone, all I can say is: Pfffft.
“HEY!!!!!!! Crazed Wandering-eyed Spotted Nut-job, stop that!”
And for all that extra effort of a long name, she would ignore you anyway. So, Sunny it is.
Sunny’s default setting is ‘serial killer’. You cannot walk or sit anywhere, at any time, without being stalked, then savagely attacked. You have to walk slowly and carefully, because she appears from nowhere, leaps at you, then races off to reconnoiter. Because you are walking slowly in order to avoid stepping on her by accident, you make for a nice slow-moving target. I think she knows this.
With all those Siamese spots, Sunny is effectively dressed in camo, and she takes this natural disguise very seriously. When she is hiding in plain view, she knows you cannot see her. You know when you are not supposed to see her by looking at her one-eye-wandering psychotic eyeballs (the one eye has not decided which way to look, but I’m guessing it will eventually be looking pretty much directly at the other eye). It is only when she randomly leaps three feet straight up at you that you are allowed to discover her incredible stealth-presence.
Heather, who had been enjoying the joys of reasonable morning wake-up times now that Andrew has grown past the 5 AM ‘let’s GO!!’ wake-ups, is once again awake at 5 AM because that is when Sunny would like to be awake. Sunny’s previous 3 AM ‘feeding’ (read: playtime) has mostly been abandoned now, which is nice, this way Heather gets enough sleep to at least stay awake at work, but not getting up at 3 AM means a playtime emergency at 5 AM.
Sunny never cried when she needed her 3 AM playtime, mind you. She found that it was more efficient to simply jump on Heather’s face and bat at her eyeballs (not using claws, which is probably a good thing). Now that she is older, her methods are improving. For the 5 AM playtime/get-the-hell-up time, she snuggles in the crook of Heather’s shoulder, which is pretty nice for Heather, except for the new bite-the-nose part. When ‘nice’ doesn’t translate into wakefulness, she moves in to lie directly on top of Heather’s throat, the idea being that Heather is either going to get up or she is going to die. You just cannot argue with the high efficiency methods of this cat.
Jim and I visit Sunny each day, because she is still young and, being a classic people cat, as Siamese are wont to be, gets a bit lonely when Heather is at work. Also, she provides us with a free midday laugh. She comes over to our house for visits quite often, because when we try to leave her house, she sits prettily by the door waiting to go with us. When she is here, she helps with home improvement, for example by discovering a hole in the wall where the dryer vent runs from the second floor to the main floor and out. It was either patch the hole or eventually tear down the entire house searching for a cat within the walls. The patch seemed easier. By ‘patch’, I mean ‘towel shoved in hole’. She may be into home improvement, but she is just a kitten. She isn’t aware yet of quality home improvement vs our method.
So, the forecast is now always Sunny. And sure, it includes occasional rain (she is obsessed with water, hangs around in the sink to savagely attack tap drips) and deadly lightning strikes (as she leaps at her unsuspecting human prey), but that’s really just the Sunnyshine tax one pays to live in this best of all Sunny worlds.
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The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet presents its columns "as is" and does not warrant the contents.
- Exploding heads Aug 24
- Princess Jim Aug 10
- Lion-hearted you Jul 31
- Said no one ever Jul 27
- The bubble burst Jul 13
- Hold on, are you sure? Jun 29
- Happy-o-rama Jun 15
- Peeve-o-rama Jun 1
For more stories from Jo, please visit the Old as Dirt. Twice as Gritty. archive
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