Welcome to the rebellion

There’s a rebellion afoot, and this is your invitation to join.

You needn’t leave the house, sign a form, or carry a placard. There are no uniforms to wear, or dues to pay. We’ve already paid our dues in spades.

This is a rebellion of self-acceptance and self-love.

In a society that profits from self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.

I’m not talking about hedonistic, egoic self-love, but simply dropping the prevailing trend of being judgmental, minimizing, and critical of ourselves.

What will it take for us to feel we are enough, just as we are? Will we be judging our own bodies on our death bed? Will they be skinny and trim enough then? What will it take for us to accept that we are smart enough, just as we are?

The marketing world relies on the insecurity, on the “not enoughness,” of people in society. Use this cream, and the wrinkles will vanish. Hey, I earned each and every one of these wonderful wrinkles.

Recently, I supported the most interesting and wonderful person as she lay on her deathbed.

We’d spent many good hours in conversation. I felt blessed in bearing witness to her life. As she shared her life story and philosophy with me, I saw intelligence, wisdom, beauty, and courage. She’d worked hard, taken chances, and lived a rich and unusual life.

She’d made mistakes, done her best, and, while caring and loving, she’d lived life on her terms.

In her final days, her face glowed, and grace and beauty emanated from her. I told her she was beautiful. She was shocked and had a hard time accepting that.

It was easier for her to tell me about where she felt she was lacking, and what was wrong than it was for her to take stock and see what I’d seen; a beautiful woman with a life well-lived.

This made me sad, and caused me to wonder if we’ll ever arrive, if we’ll ever be satisfied with ourselves.

“I’ll be happy when…”  is the perpetual carrot we hang out in front of ourselves, thinking we’re going to force ourselves into some perfect shape or way of being.

Spoiler alert: the when never arrives.

What’s important is to be happy first. Be happy first, and any changes that follow come much more easily. Self-acceptance, self-love, and self-compassion are key to success and a happy life.

It’s not that we’ll turn into amorphous slugs who lack motivation when we learn to accept ourselves exactly as we are. It’s the opposite. Positive self-talk supports lasting growth.

We become more motivated, more courageous, and have more energy to spend as we soften the self-criticism so prevalent in society.

Often, we are seeking things outside of ourselves, outside of our current situation, in our pursuit of happiness.

Happiness doesn’t lie on some distant shoreline. It’s not some destination we arrive at after we feel we’ve earned it, after beating ourselves up enough.

Happiness is now!

Trust me, you are more wonderful than you let yourself know. Join the rebellion today.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.