Boys and girls are different

I consider myself a financial nerd. Money and financial issues interest me, and I'm the kind of person who actually has fun coming up with budgets and planning our spending. I'm a bit on the thrifty side, the kind of guy who automatically calculates the potential savings when choosing Heinz ketchup over a no-name one.

My lovely wife, Mrs. Financial Underdog, isn't quite the same (which is awesome). She doesn't quite like to talk about money, and while she now willingly participates in budgeting, she just needs to know that things are going good, we have enough money for all our needs for the month, and a perfectly balanced budget doesn't excite her as much as it does me. But she's kind, beautiful, smart, and awesome to be around (just in case she's reading it).

As you can see, we're quite different. While we might have similar dreams and plans for our future, we function and think in two different ways. Just like in any family, one person is a bit more serious about grown-up stuff than his/her spouse. This one person usually takes care of bills while the other one just needs to know that bills are being paid as needed.

So, when I came up with this whole budgeting thing, I went to my wife all excited. I explained that instead of just spending money willy-nilly, we now have different categories where all our spending will go.

After a couple of months, I asked if she liked how we handle money. I was quite surprised to hear from her that she wasn't happy with the whole process. She mentioned that the whole budget feels like shackles to her - the fact that she now has to budget for every single dollar she spends felt ridiculous to her. What's worse is that she has to plan her spontaneous purchases now.

 

And the bulb goes off!

My major mistake was assuming she thinks the same way as I do. I'm the kind of person who'd rather go hungry but make sure the numbers line up properly. I can literally plan all of my purchases ahead of time; planning is my second nature. My wife on the other hand can be quite spontaneous. What was the solution?

What we've done for our budget was very simple - we've introduced guilt free spending money for both her and I. Every month, we'd set aside a certain amount of money that we can spend on anything we want - it can be lunch, it can be a good book, it can be a pack of gum. The only limitation is the overall amount.

Now Mrs. Financial Underdog doesn't have to plan her spontaneous nature. If she wants to spend money on something, she spends it without feeling guilty. She doesn't have to think over every single purchase and make sure we agree on it. As long as the overall amount comes close to what we've planned - who cares? If it's a bit under or a little bit over - it just carries over into next month, no big whoop.

 

Are you having troubles managing your finances because you’re not able to find middle ground with your spouse? Tell me about your experience! Visit the full version of this story at http://moneyramblings.com/guilt-free-spending-money/ and leave a comment!

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This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.