Take control of technology

I was wondering what to write for this week’s column and stumbled upon inspiration in the form of a Facebook post from a family member in Ontario.

It turns out that within the complex structure of our shared DNA is a pre-disposition to technology tantrums.

I wasn’t sure it was a “thing” so I turned to the oracle, Google, and here is a guy I can relate to (partially).

This is most definitely a severe case of computer rage.

I always question why anybody thought that technology would make our lives easier.

The result of technology is simply that we make about 10,000 times more decisions on a daily basis than our grandparents used to; it is enough to make anyone insane.

There is relief.

The three-step program I am about to share with you will calm your nerves, solve your problems and have you feeling free from the chains of oppression that technology creates.

  • Step 1: Overcome denial. Simply admit that you are PO’d with your technology. It may be a computer, but could also be as menial as a malfunctioning toaster. Whatever it is, you can demonstrate through your actions that you are an adult, you are superior and you are in control.
  • Step 2: Plan the funeral. Careful planning can lead to immense gratification. High decks are my favourite for a technology toss, but perhaps a big stick and a beating is enough to show who’s boss in this relationship. The veritable explosion and clatter of knobs, dials, capacitors and resistors is pure music.
  • Step 3: Find a counsellor. One of two things can happen: grief can be a dark feeling; you may need help on a long and difficult journey. Alternatively, you may have misread the situation completely and in fact were not ticked off at your technology but had some much deeper rooted issues that need support.

That is it – simple. You are back in control. You put technology in its place.

I have repeated this process with video machines, toasters, kettles, computers – you name it. My mother-in-law is somewhat incredulous as she walks in to the garden in the morning.

Barefoot in the early morning dew, she is ready to tend her young perennials when she suddenly steps on a liberated condenser or capacitor that rudely pokes a hole in the bottom of her foot – one last desperate chance to gain control.

Over time, my mother-in-law has become accustomed to my deck toss habits.

She still does not agree, but she has become accustomed.

I did figure that I was strangely delusional and lonely until that inspiring Facebook post from my uncle Nick, who was liberated from an annoying, malfunctioning HP printer. The chosen punishment? The family deck toss.

Thankfully, today’s technology is much more reliable.


Comments are pre-moderated to ensure they meet our guidelines. Approval times will vary. Keep it civil, and stay on topic. If you see an inappropriate comment, please use the ‘flag’ feature. Comments are the opinions of the comment writer, not of Castanet. Comments remain open for one day after a story is published and are closed on weekends. Visit Castanet’s Forums to start or join a discussion about this story.

More It's All About . . . articles

About the Author

Mark has been an entrepreneur for over forty years. His experience spans many commercial sectors and aspects of business. He was one of the youngest people to be appointed as a Fellow of the prestigious Institute of Sales and Marketing Management before he left the UK in 1988.

His column focuses on ways we can improve on success in our lives. Whether it is business, relationships, or health, Mark has a well-rounded perspective on how to stay focused for growth and development.

His influences come from the various travels he undertakes as an adventurer, philanthropist and keynote speaker. More information can be found on Mark at his website www.markjenningsbates.com

He is a Venture Partner with www.DutchOracle.com a global Alternative Investment company.

Mark Jennings-Bates:
[email protected]

Photo credit: www.SteveAustin.ca 

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

Previous Stories