Financial infidelity

Are you guilty of committing financial infidelity? 

Earlier last month, the Financial Planning Standards Council released their Financial Infidelity Survey results that found more than one third of Canadians are victims of financial infidelity. 

What exactly is financial infidelity you ask? 

Infidelity is defined as the “action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or partner.”

Talking about money with your spouse or significant other is rarely ever easy and many individuals starting a new relationship don’t discuss money matters at all. But is simply not discussing money enough to be considered financial infidelity? 

It could be, but the study showed that it wasn’t just a lack of conversation, but instead actual dishonesty that was often occurring. Thirty-four per cent of study participants admitted to keeping financial secrets from their current partner and 36 per cent said that they outright lied about a financial matter.

Both men and women were found to be equally deceitful about financial matters with their partners. Younger people are particularly susceptible, and the study found that nearly 50 per cent of Canadians aged 18-34 have been the victims of financial infidelity. 

There are several “red flags” to watch out for when financial infidelity by your partner is suspected including:

• Regular or large cash withdrawals.
• A change in behaviour or questioning your own financial habits, which could signal an attempt to deflect attention away from themselves. 
• Unaccounted for purchases and expenditures that cannot be explained.
• A change in mail, reduced mail or statements from financial services and creditors.
• A partner who becomes very concerned with the mail delivery and doesn’t want you to see it first. 

What can you learn from all of this? 

Talking about money is never going to be easy, but it’s a vital component of a happy relationship. As early as possible in a relationship, you should try to ensure that you and your spouse are on the same page. 

Frank discussions on debt, credit, values about money, etc. should take place on a regular basis. Be sure to ask open-ended questions like “How much debt are you comfortable carrying?” and “What are your financial goals in the next five years?” to help open the conversation. 

In addition, create and maintain a detailed budget that both partners are actively involved in. Set up a time each month to review all bank accounts, credit card statements and investment accounts.

Be very careful of signing any type of financial document before fully reading and understanding it as well. 

Most important, get up the courage to talk about money. I promise you that the first conversation will be the hardest one and it will get much easier from there.

Partners who openly communicate about money and voice and understand each other’s financial values are in a much better position to build and maintain a strong and healthy relationship. 

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.