Feel Good  

Love and fear

“Fear Controls. Love Sets You Free.” This quote applies to all areas of life where fear prevents us from achieving our goals, dreams, and facing challenges that take us through to increased self-confidence, moments of blinding happiness, and deep peace of mind. Feed your fears and they will make your world a very small place indeed. Feed your joys and your world will expand with possibilities and great success.

Recognizing our own fears requires self-awareness. For example:

  • Fear of success makes a creative person jump from one activity to another instead of honing in on the one activity they excel at and love.
  • Fear of social situations prevents a shy person from venturing out; stuck in a rut of playing video games instead of establishing what could develop into meaningful new friendships.
  • Fear of growing old keeps many people hopelessly addicted to the next great ‘miracle’ cream or ‘health’ concoction, spending all their money and time on plastic surgery and gym memberships. Instead of accepting the wisdom and gifts of growing old, they fight it every step of the way.
  • Fear of failure prevents some from trying a new sport or career that may bring them into alignment with their true values.
  • Fear of not being accepted causes an individual to bend over backwards in an attempt to please others instead of pleasing themselves, leaving them feeling empty and wanting.

Fear controls, giving ego desires priority over soul needs. Fear feeds ego through material goods, vanity, and self-centeredness. Love feeds our true desires for taking risks, connecting with others, and creating. New adventures and positive action nourish our minds with great wisdom, creating a ‘can do’ attitude.

Love is letting go of fear and embracing faith and trust in yourself and others, giving more smiles and hugs, expressing gratitude, and making connections in your community in whatever way is meaningful to you that effects positive action or change. Love is truth, wisdom, compassion, and faith in action. Love is expansive, in endless supply, energizing, and always feels good.

Fear is jealousy, anger, envy, and hatred in action. It contracts, stops you from growing and moving forward, and doesn’t feel good unless you move through it to positive action. Check in with your feelings often – they are an accurate guide.

Fear believes:

“I can’t afford to do that.”

“That’s too complicated to try.”

“They won’t hire me without a degree.”

“I’m too old to do that.”

“I don’t deserve to be with someone that beautiful.”

“My ideas are lame.”

“I’m not talented enough.”


Love believes:

“I’m open to trying new things.”

“Once I start this, everything will fall into place beautifully.”

“What can I do to help make things better?”

“Yes, I can!”

“I can learn new skills no matter what my age is.”

“I will continue to work through this because I want to accomplish the goal ahead.”


Love believes in possibilities. Time to squash fear like the cockroach it is and choose the love that transforms your caterpillar into a butterfly! Tune into your heart needs through meditation, exercise, creativity, journalling, or reading the wisdom of others who have made their dreams a reality. Whether you believe in love or fear, it will be your experience. Choose wisely; choose what feels good in 2014.

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About the Author

Tara is a published poet and children's e-book author. Article publishing credits include Snowshoemag.com, Riversportsmag.com, VidaYum online children’s magazine, and Homes & Land Okanagan. She currently spends most of her time discovering new BC restaurants and wineries, hiking with her dog, and writing. Her column is about positive living and coping skills for a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

Follow her on Twitter @TaraPanrucker.

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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