After researching Henry Rollins thirty odd years in the entertainment industry I have come to this conclusion: There is more than one Henry Rollins. He has to be twins or triplets to have amassed such an extensive body of work. Consider the following: He has recorded some 29 CD’s of spoken word and music (with the Rollins Band), another half dozen studio albums with Black Flag and about a dozen guest appearances on CD’s from Tony Iommi to Iggy Pop to William Shatner. He’s had two radio shows, Indie 103.1 from LA, California and a new one on KCRW out of Santa Monica. He’s made numerous TV appearances including The Henry Rollins Show. He’s also been in some fifteen feature films billed along side such greats as Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Charlie Sheen, Will Smith and Michael Keaton. This guy gets around and this past week he was here in Kelowna on his latest spoken word, (Frequent Flyer) tour.

In one of my earlier columns I talked about a classical guitarist whose incredible music had been overshadowed to an extent by two half wit Starbucks employees who incessantly talked and made noise all through the concert. Well they came to the Henry Rollins show. Or if it wasn’t the same two, it might as well have been. I’m going to call them Malibu Barbie and Malibu Stacy. What I couldn’t help but wonder was what Barbie and Stacy were doing there in the first place? I mean of course it’s a free country but if these two had the first clue about who or what Henry Rollins was all about then why would they come at all? I’m guessing they were given the tickets by daddy and the transaction probably went something like this. “You girls want these tickets, I got ‘em from a business associate. They're for some guy named Harry Robbins or something like that guy's supposed to be some kind a comedian.” To which Barbie and Stacy replied something like, “A comedian? Is he funny?” To which daddy probably said, “How the hell should I know.”

Barbie and Stacie were sitting directly behind my wife and I. They had just taken their seats when they were both over taken by their short attention spans and quickly began to talk and text message some other third and forth parties. They weren’t really conversing because they both spoke relentlessly at the same time not listening to a word the other was saying. It was kind of amusing for about two minutes but it didn’t stop even when Henry took the stage. After about 45 minutes my wife and I and several others around us were ready to crucify the pair but thankfully they got up and left! Just like that. Henry’s intellect was just too much for them and away they went. There is a God! Barbie and Stacy, if your reading this (yeah right), I just want to say that you were both unbelievably rude and you ruined a big chunk of the gig for everyone around you. Thanks.

Unfortunately the show was just about over by the time they left. That’s probably what you’re thinking right? That’s what I was thinking. I mean how long can a one man show go on for? How long can a guy keep an audience interested with his humour and insight without pausing long enough for so much as a sip of water? If you’re Henry Rollins the answer is two hours and forty five minutes. Holy guacamole.

So what did Mr. Rollins talk about? I’m glad you asked. His office assistant Heidi aka The Demon. Sylvester Stalone’s flop Over the Top and how that film related to Henry’s solo sexual gratification one lonely evening. The African Constitution and other world travel experiences. His role in the hit TV series Sons of Anarchy. His artist friend’s failed suicide attempt, she tried to poison herself with car exhaust fumes but she drives a hybrid so… and how Henry bids for things he doesn’t want on E-Bay then taunts the people he’s beaten via e-mail. And these are just a few of the many varied items that Henry Rollins shared with his fans. It was mesmerizing, it was thought provoking and yes Barbie and Stacy if you’d shut the hell up and listen, it was funny as hell.