Sly! Arnie! Bruce!... and Chuck Norris!
Aug 17, 2012 / 11:00 am
Greetings movie lovers, it's time to take a peek at what the cinema has in store for us this weekend.
The Expendables 2
The Expendables are reunited when Mr. Church enlists them to take on a seemingly simple job. When things go wrong, the Expendables are compelled to seek revenge in hostile territory, where the odds are stacked against them. Hell-bent on payback, the crew cuts a swath of destruction through opposing forces, wreaking havoc and shutting down an unexpected threat in the nick of time - five tons of weapons-grade plutonium, more than enough to change the balance of power in the world. But that's nothing compared to the justice they serve against the villainous adversary they seek revenge from.
My Take
Alright all you action junkies, this one is for you. The long awaited and highly anticipated sequel to 2010's smash hit featuring a plethora of sexagenarian action stars from the 80's who still look jacked up, even if most of it is held together by botox injections, multiple facelifts and bad dye jobs. I kid of course, as I've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of this sure-to-be bad ass extravaganza of carnage and mayhem.
Returning from the first film are Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Randy Couture, Terry Crews and in expanded roles this time, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis. Joining up for this new adventure is the young gun, Liam Hemsworth (Hunger Games), and the old man of the group, Chuck Norris (no offense, Chuck!). There's even a woman along for the ride this time as Chinese action star Nan Yu joins the fray. The big baddie this time is none other than the "Muscles from Brussels", Jean-Claude Van Damme. There may even be a surprise cameo or two as well.
This should be a fun filled, nostalgic trip down memory lane as we remember all of the high-octane action films of the past and laugh at the cheesy one liners and self referential humour. Make no mistake, this movie is all about pure popcorn entertainment and I'm fine with that. There are already rumours of a planned third film in this franchise and some of the names being mentioned to appear include Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes (when he gets out of jail) and Nicholas Cage. I would suggest also adding Steven Seagal, Kurt Russell, Mel Gibson and Rutger Hauer (who clearly would have to be a bad guy of course). Anyone looking for some thrills, spills and a testosterone fueled good time at the movies will probably want to check out The Expendables 2.
See you there!
ParaNorman
In ParaNorman, a small town comes under siege by zombies. Who can it call? Only misunderstood local boy Norman (Kodi Smit-McPhee), who is able to speak with the dead. In addition to the zombies, he'll have to take on ghosts, witches and, worst, of all, grown-ups, to save his town from a centuries-old curse. But this young ghoul whisperer may find his paranormal activities pushed to their otherworldly limits.
My Take
This new stop motion animated film comes to us from the makers of the quirky and creepy Coraline, which I happened to really enjoy. I absolutely love the darker themed animated films such as Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride and Monster House, and ParaNorman looks like it will be a wonderful blend of humour and the macabre.
It's directed by Sam Fell (Flushed Away, The Tale of Despereaux) and features the vocal talents of Casey Affleck, John Goodman, Anna Kendrick, Leslie Mann, Jeff Garlin and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. Because of the subject matter, this film might be a tad too scary for younger children but overall I think this will be an ideal family film that most ages can enjoy. I'm quite looking forward to seeing this and I hope that it's a big hit and doesn't get overshadowed by the monstrous Expendables 2.
The Odd Life of Timothy Green
A childless couple (Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton) bury a box in their backyard, containing all of their wishes for an infant. Soon, a child is born, though Timothy Green (CJ Adams) is not all that he appears.
My Take
This family film which opened on August 15 already looks exactly like the title states... odd. I can't tell if it's trying to be a magical fable or an overly sentimental dramedy. It's written and directed by Peter Hedges, who wrote the screenplays for What's Eating Gilbert Grape, About a Boy and also directed Dan in Real Life with Steve Carell. This is a Walt Disney film so I have no doubt that it will be suitable for all ages and parents looking to take the kids out on a family movie night could probably do worse than seeing this. I'm not particularly interested myself, but let me know if I'm missing something special here.
Also being released at the Paramount Theatre are a couple of smaller films that might very well be worth seeing. Safety Not Guaranteed is from the producers of Little Miss Sunshine and it's about three magazine employees that head out on an assignment to interview a guy who placed a classified ad seeking a companion for time travel. This quirky comedy stars Aubrey Plaza and Mark Duplass. The Intouchables is a French language film about an aristocrat who hires a young man from the projects to be his caretaker after he becomes a quadriplegic from a paragliding accident. This looks like a very heartfelt, touching and funny film.
Normally I would be including my six degrees of Chuck Norris here but seeing as how Chuck is actually in the main film this week it would be pointless. In fact, now that The Expendables 2 has finally arrived I think that this is the perfect time to retire the game and move on to something new. Stay tuned next week for a new feature.
I will leave you with one last fact about Chuck Norris but this time it's something actually true:
His voice and drama coach was Jonathan Harris, of "Lost in Space" (1965) fame. Harris "taught him how to speak," by putting his fingers in Norris's mouth, and stretching the mouth wide open. Chuck names Jonathan as the only man in the world who could get away with doing that to him... which Harris was always quite proud of.
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