What does one do when the celebrity gossip machine is completely jammed up and welded to the MTV Movie Awards? One steers clear of all the Twilight and Hunger Games crap and sets his sights on the person who brought the most crazy to 2011. Yup, good ol’ Charlie Sheen is back and apparently partying as hard as, well... Charlie Sheen.

Okay, I lied; I can’t ignore the Movie Awards. I’ll make it quick, though. Really, MTV? Breaking Dawn as Best Picture? Hunger Games for those acting awards? I won’t argue that Jennifer Lawrence is a great actress, but Hunger Games was awful and she couldn’t save it.

Speaking of saving, Russell Brand saved the show. His monologue was sharp, and had some great zingers (oooh, the Zingbot 3000 is back with Big Brother next month. Squirrel!):

"I just hope [Kanye West and Kim Kardashian] do a new sex tape. I think of Kim Kardashian as the Stanley Kubrick of sex tapes. They're always brilliant, but she only does one a decade."

"Since we haven't got Kanye here tonight, I need someone in this audience more unstable and reckless than me to do something stupid and start jeopardizing my green card. That someone is obviously Charlie Sheen. ... Charlie, you do look well and relatively sober, so what I've done is taped a bottle of Hennessy and a gram of coke under your chair."

Photo: Contributed

Charlie Sheen, seen partying it up this weekend

… aaaaand we’re back to Charlie. Get a load of the photo right. See how he’s managed to grow a third arm? If anyone needs three arms, it’s Sheen. One for the booze, one for a cigar and one for the goddess(es).

Three arm jokes aside, it seems that Sheen is back on the bad stuff and partying way too hard again. Radaronline reports that the neighbours aren’t too happy, with a source saying, "There has been an abnormally high levels of activity at the house all hours of the night. Cars containing scantily clad women arrive very late in the evening and don't leave until the next day. The women always appear to be wearing the same clothes they arrived in, and looking a little worse for the wear.”

The source continues, making comparisons to perfect neighbour Slash from Guns n’ Roses: “There are also a number of random vehicles parked all over his driveway and in front of his house. The party goers, including Sheen, will smoke cigarettes outside in his backyard and swear loudly. It's becoming a nuisance, and the residents don't like outsiders lurking around all the time. People move to Mullholland Estates for security and privacy because it's a gated community. Slash lives down the street from Charlie, and you never hear or see anything odd going on at his house. In fact, he is very low key and very quiet. Too bad some of that doesn't rub off on Charlie."

On Saturday, TMZ asked Charlie if he was using again. His response, while not answering the question or even coming close, solves the mystery faster than Sherlock Holmes on crack:

I can't speak to anyone's opinion or judgement.
I was there
they were not.
their tepid
hearsay is a baseless
static drone.
a mantra.
their theme.
I refuse to be held hostage by their 'constitutional'
privelidge,
to judge those
who can and who do.

nabobs.
CS

Is the Charlie Sheen of 2011 back? Did he miss the publicity? Is this merely all for the sake of publicity for his upcoming new show Anger Management? Are we really going to have to endure the phrases “winning” and “tiger blood” again?

The answers to all of these questions will play out shortly, but I’m guessing that the rock bottom we all assumed Sheen hit last year is still a little way down yet.