Photo: Contributed - AP

Kim Kardashian at Paris Fashion Week in March 2012

I’ll try to make this edition of the Soup as short as possible, because the more you read about how much richer the Kardashians have become the more you are likely to throw yourself into a wall in disgust.

Not sure if you’ve heard, but yesterday the Kardashian reality machine signed a $40 million deal with E! Network to do three (3! 3! 3? 3. Sigh) more seasons of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. 

Kim, Khloe, the other one Kourtney, evil spawn of Satan Kris and grandma Bruce will get the majority of the pimpings, while Kendall, Kylie and Rob will get the scraps. Patrick Bateman from American Psycho Scott Disick and Mr. Khloe Lamar Odom are signing their own separate deals. The new and as-yet-unannounced show, Kim and Kanye Destroy Humanity As We Know It, will probably fetch even more millions.

And as much as one might like, or at least admire, Ryan Seacrest, perhaps he’s the one to blame for all this. On top of the new $30 million deal he just signed with American Idol,  Seacrest likely stands to profit even more than the Kardashians for this reality monstrosity.

If you’re wondering how this family manages to stay on reality TV while not actually DOING anything - don’t. They stay on TV because people are watching them and their show.

If this is you, I beg you… please. Stop.

The only way the Kardashians will go away is if nobody watches their tactless show. And yes, I’m aware of the fact that I’m contributing to their publicity by continuing to write about them, but at least when the celebrity media writes about them they’re not yet making any money off it. I say the word ‘yet’ because clearly this family has made some sort of a deal with Lucifer (who apparently does all of Satan’s dirty work).

I guess there are probably worse programs you can watch on TV, but sometime in the future, we’ll look back upon Keeping Up With the Kardashians as one of the worst shows in television history.

Okay, enough about them.

Photo: Contributed - AMC

On the other side of that small-screen coin, we have what has now solidified itself as the very best show in the history of television. Yes, I said it. It’s not hyperbole.

It’s Mad Men.

The show that put the AMC network on the map, now in its fifth season, has never missed a beat. I don’t think there has been a single episode that falls short of excellence. And this current season, which just aired its sixth episode (the first 2-hour episode counts as two), has managed to raise the bar even higher. Sunday night’s show, which featured Roger Sterling and his wife Jane on an LSD trip and Don Draper and Megan on a trip of their own, was done so well it reminded me of the very best work of director David Lynch.

Each episode stands on its own as a great movie and a brilliant work of art.

Mad Men should not be missed. It is what TV is all about, very much unlike anything the Kardashians try to sell us.