What do you really want for Christmas? Have you asked yourself this? Maybe it’s a new car or a new home? How about a better job or a partner to really connect with? Imagine any of that under the tree instead many of us have been running around buying gifts for the ones we care about most. Some are now in the “frantic mode” as time is quickly running out. What if you could have, and give, the very best gift of all? What if this gift didn’t cost you a dime?

My friend Sheila is heading home to Ontario for Christmas. Her Mother asked for a special gift of Sheila this year and that is simply “one hour of her time.” There are many millions of mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers that if asked what they’d really like would say “connection, real connection with those I care about.”

Presents are some peoples’ way of saying “I love you” or “I care about you.” They’ve avoided connection all year and Christmas is a handshake hug or kiss on the cheek followed with a glow of knowing you’ve acknowledged that special someone in your life. But have you really? Is it possible there’s a more powerful and effective way?

If gift giving is a form of acknowledgement, might there be a deeper and more effective way and what could that possibly be? When clients come back with answers to these questions I am often humbled, surprised and thrilled all at the same time. The question or challenge I asked of them is: “if you could list three ways that you could choose to honour your family, friends, customers and coworkers, what would these be? I’ve yet to find a response that includes a gift from the stores. The responses often sound something like:

I choose to spend one Sunday a month with Grandma because she’s getting on and there is so much I can learn from her

I will work on rebuilding my relationship with my brother/sister

I’m going to be a better friend remembering birthdays, anniversaries and what’s most important to them

I’m going to become a better listener and not try to change them

I’m going to be more proactive in serving my customers and try to anticipate their needs

I’m going to take more interest in what my customer is trying to achieve in their business, if they are successful I will be too

I choose to be more respectful of my coworker’s opinions, viewpoints and do my best to see things from their perspective

I’m going to return phone calls and emails quicker and show up for meetings on-time as a way to respect theirs

When asked “how would you like to honour those you care about?” we find gifts of a very different nature. These gifts are about compassion, curiosity, respect and deeply caring. These are gifts of tearing down facades and becoming genuine with each other. It’s about really connecting, after all isn’t that the greatest gift of all?

When I ask: “what three things might you choose to honour yourself?” it usually is the same theme. It comes down to surrounding ourselves with family and friends on a whole new level. You may have heard the saying “if it’s to be, it’s up to me”, how true. If you really do want connection ask yourself “what am I willing to do?” Gandhi said “be the change you wish for the world.” At this Christmas I think he’s saying “be the gift.”

My very best to you and your loved ones this Christmas, and remember: “in only two days, tomorrow will be yesterday, lean into it!” As I offer insights, stories, tips and career information, please contact me to share your stories opinions and comments to Don Campbell.