Balsy's Beef  

Little white lies!

Today’s beef is something I think we all do.  I have no problem admitting that I did this just today at the grocery store while talking to the cashier.  I told a little white lie.  Oh sure, we think they are harmless and that nothing big will come from our tiny white lie, but if that was true why do we always feel so bad after? 

Why can’t we just act like the adults we are and tell them the truth?  For example, “No that scratch wasn’t there when I borrowed your car.”

“Yes I do think your cat is annoying and sheds more than all the cats I have met combined...” or “No those pants don’t make you look fat it’s your butt that makes you look fat.”  Okay the last one is a poor example but I think you get the point.

Today while cashing out at the grocery store the cashier was just trying to make conversation when she looked at the logo on my jacket and asked me, “Does Steven still work there?” 

Now considering I no longer work for the company and have no idea who she might be talking about the correct answer should have been, “I don’t actually work there anymore," but instead I said with all the confidence in the world, “Oh yeah, he’s a great guy!”

 WHY?  What was I hoping to accomplish with my little white lie in the first place?  You know this couldn’t be the end of it either, because not only did she know Steven but she REALLY knew Steven and proceeded to tell me all about him, his family and how long they have known each other.   I feel like if I waited much longer I may have been able to see some baby pictures of Steven. 

My point is that I don’t know why as an adult we still feel the need to tell these little white lies.  Do we think other grown-ups can’t handle the truth?   So what if I didn’t know Steven, what difference would that have made anyway? 

I would like to apologize to the lady I lied to today, I don’t know who Steven is and I will not be passing along the long-winded message you asked me to tell him.  I would also like to thank you for not showing me pictures of Steven as a baby and I promise in the future I will not tell any more white lies that will eventually turn into huge colourful piles of bull****.  Okay that was the last one, no this one is…

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About the Author

You got BEEF?  Balsy does! 

Rob Balsdon is a local stand-up comedian that has a beef with almost everything.

As a comedian Rob has shared the stage with some of the biggest names in Canadian comedy including “The Harley Guy” Herb Dixon, Gerry Dee (Mr. D) and Brent Butt (Corner Gas). Recently Rob was lucky enough to work with one of his idols when he opened for film star and SNL alumni Norm MacDonald!

Rob is here to rant about all the little things that get on his nerves.

Email your rants or ideas to [email protected]

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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