Without a doubt, I am a rule-breaker. But, that wasn’t always the way and back then, my life was smaller.
What I see in a variety of scenarios is how people have created their own internal rules and it makes their lives way more difficult. To give an example, my sweetie has been working in and consulting in the furniture industry for a long time and I’m always amazed when he tells me stories of how people look for YEARS to replace their furniture. The absolute angst they put themselves through to not make the wrong decision….I can’t even imagine how excruciating that is.
What I find is that people are scared of making a mistake. I get it, I used to live with someone who was very critical and I see it everywhere – I see a lot of people experiencing a harsh word or damning glance from the one they love. (Hmm, maybe you should buy the furniture you want and throw out the critical one….just a thought). It makes life a living hell, but so does having too many rules.
Let me tell you, it’s really difficult to attract what you want when you’re afraid of making a mistake. I saw a quote today from Michael Jordan, “I’ve failed over and over again in my life…and that is why I succeed. It’s impossible to find what you want when you’re looking for the flaws."
You know why? Because you’ll always find flaws! Everything is both flawed and perfect at the same time, it just comes down to what YOU decide to focus on. Whatever you focus on – tada – you’ll get! It’s just the way our brain works. You give it a command (a focus) and it will go about finding evidence to prove you right.
Here’s some rules that I’m talking about:
- I’ll believe it when I see it.
- I can’t ask for a raise/promotion.
- I can’t let them know that I don’t know that.
- I can’t ask a question.
- I must get married.
- I must not be alone.
- I can’t ask for what I really want.
- I can’t tell them that.
- There is a dent/scratch/imperfection that I will never see but will always know is there and will think about it.
- Every time someone is late that means they are disrespecting me.
- I can’t do what I want because (fill in the blank) won’t like it.
- I can’t do that because that’s not done in my industry.
- I can’t do/be/have (fill in the blank) because people will think I’m weird.
….shall I go on?
Not one of those are always true and not one of those should always stop you.
What if you could never make a mistake ? What if a ‘mistake’ was just taking you closer to what you want, just like Michael Jordan? What if you could always stand tall in any decision you make even if it turns out awful? What if it’s all part of a bigger picture?
I know each and every one of those questions begs a whole conversation of its own but please start asking yourself those questions. Asking a question will open up your whole world, I promise!!
What if you making a ‘mistake’ is actually you playing a role in someone else’s movie? When I do things out of the ordinary for me, I have now come to the understanding that I’m playing a role in someone else’s movie. It’s like I agreed to pop in and do some horrendous thing exactly at the right moment. (Well, maybe not horrendous but certainly out of character).
A few years ago I was at an event and was listening to someone who was obviously upset. Another person wanted my attention and I stopped listening to the first person, TURNED MY BACK on him (for me, that is horrendous) and it was several moments before I turned back. The damage was done. I was stunned that I had done this. I apologized and it wasn’t until I apologized again later that evening that he told me that I did exactly what his wife KAREN did to him all the time. My mistake wasn’t a mistake at all, I walked right into that energy and played a role for him to reflect something he needed to see back at him. Last I saw, they’re not together anymore. Sounds like that was a good thing.
Now, I could also pull out countless tear-jerker stories where people have waited to do, be or have what they truly want until it’s too late. But I’m not going to – you have to decide what rules are valid or not, which ones are stopping you from having the life/work or business you truly deserve. You also get to decide what you’re going to do about it. If you’ve tried to change some things around and you keep stopping yourself, come and check out Essentials and the Live Q&A, I can definitely help you bust past that!!
What rules do you have that are stopping you? Will you just go out and BUY THE DAMN FURNITURE before it’s too late!? (Disclaimer: I actually think it’s never too late - it’s just whether you want to have what you want in this lifetime or another).