Recently I was asked this question, ‘How do I stop attracting irrational women?’
I’m not sure I’m the one to ask – LOL. Actually, I’ve never been accused of being irrational but my ex did tell me he thought I was going through a mid-life crisis when I was in my 20′s. (Hmm, maybe that was a nice way of telling me I was irrational). Truth was that I was just figuring out that he wasn’t so good for me and he thought that was the mid-life crisis. Whatever. It likely was the most rational thing I’ve ever thought, but I digress…
There a bunch of things that pop to mind for me with this particular question. First, it could come down to different communication and relationship styles. Each of us comes at communication, relationship and dating with a whole set of beliefs, ideals, rules and fantasies about what it ‘should’ look like. We’re heavily influenced by our families, our friends and our cultural beliefs. Unfortunately, many are also heavily influenced by what they see on TV or in the movies. No one which way is right or wrong but many of us have a tendency to think our way is the right way. I certainly did!
This is a starting point. No doubt, in our diverse and changing world this does become more confusing.
The second thing that comes to mind is paying attention to the type of people you continually attract and in this case it’s irrational women. Whether or not it’s irrational women or continually attracting the wrong type of person, the thing you need to look at is that you are the common denominator. Ouch.
If you keep attracting the same type of person over and over there’s something in your energy and actions that keep attracting the same type. It could be something as simple as having a past tendency to date women who just got out of a mental institution – okay, I am just being funny – but truly I’ve seen people go to the same places, pick up the same type of people and have the same experience over and over and then wonder why. You may want to rethink that strategy.
Could you be replaying your parents relationship? God knows I did that the first time. It’s funny that the thing you most want to stay away from is the thing you actually end up attracting to you.
Are you trying to subconsciously trying to get from a new person the validation and love you never received from someone like an irrational parent? An abusive caregiver? An immature first love?
Who would do that?! Of course this is nothing we would ever consciously choose but that’s why it’s subconscious and it’s driving your actions without you even knowing it. Blech.
Now, you might have even become aware that you were doing this and actively tried to change it BUT trying to change it by resisting it actually doesn’t work! I was talking to someone recently who has a problem with mechanics, they were aware that they wanted to attract a different mechanic and so met with and interviewed a number of different mechanics and settled on one.
What happened? The same thing as before. Why? Because she still didn’t trust mechanics and therefore attracted the same type of situation. Now it’s not to say that the mechanic wasn’t a good mechanic but they would be responding to this woman’s energy about mechanics and her self-fulfilling prophecy that mechanics couldn’t be trusted was fulfilled.
Here’s the good news! You can change this – you just need to change the original energy that you have wrapped up in you. I recommend EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), the Sedona Method or Access Consciousness clearings. I actually did a clearing on this question about attracting the wrong person during my first live Q&A for the Attract More Now Essentials members – there’s a free trial period – so you may want to go and check that out! It really did clear a lot of energy out! And, if that clearing didn’t clear it for you, you can come on the next Q&A and ask me to clear it out specifically for you! Cool, huh?!
This is a start, there are a number of other actions I would recommend but that’s for another blog or another Q&A session!
The Smarter, Faster Formula will also help you to know if you’re inviting possibility or inviting limitation – check out the free webinar – you’ll get other specific actions there that you’ll be able to use to shift your attraction in this area.