Recently I had a question about goal-setting from a pretty successful business woman. She, like many others, had set goals but there were some things on her list that continue to not show up.
When I shared how I set my goals, she told me that I should tell everyone because she thought (and so do I) that the difference was slight but profound.
What I shared that was different from her goal-setting techniques was the focus. You see, often what happens with that goal that keeps ending up on our list year-in, year-out is one of two things (at least).
We either have no or little focus on the goal after we write it down.
Or, we have a negative focus or use future language that keeps repelling the goal.
When we have little or no focus on our goal there’s a number of reasons this happens but it’s most usually that the goal isn’t really ours anyways but is the goal of someone else that we adopted because we were supposed to. What also often happens is that we have adopted a belief, sometimes subconsciously, that it’s hard to get, we’re not worthy or it’s not possible for us to get otherwise we’d have it by now, right?
When we have a negative focus it just means that we spend most of our time thinking about how that goal still hasn’t been accomplished and since the Universe is really just a mirror – that’s what we get more of – ‘still not accomplished’.
Future language is really set up in our word and thought patterns when we say we ‘want’ something. Want implies that we don’t have it. (Yes, I know you’ve probably heard this before and it probably drives you as crazy as it used to drive me – lol!) Here’s the thing – ‘want’ has tons of meanings that imply ‘lack of’ and only one that means ‘to desire’. Like above, if the message we’re sending out loud and clear is that we lack (want) something – the Universe will happily copy that energy into our reality. Also, if we say ‘it’s on its way’ or ‘soon’ or anything that implies that what you desire is not in the present – well, you get the picture….
This took me a long time to get but it is true that what we want is here, now. Which means the way to generate it, whatever your ‘it’ is, lies in this moment now. I have had waaaay too many times where I didn’t believe that, didn’t act on that and could turn around later and say ‘ahhh, the way to make that happen was there at that time’ and I usually follow that up with some kind of expletive – hahaha.
Here’s an example of what I do now for goal-setting:
- I imagine it’s December of the new year and I start to write down all the things I accomplished as if they were already done.
- Examples – ‘I blew the doors off my income this year by 4x!’; ‘We took a number of vacations!’; ‘Money and great opportunities flowed easily all the time!’; ‘House upgrades were done easily!’ Do you get the drift?
- Next, as always, get into that feeling space of what that would actually feel like, I mean, really, really feel it. Allow yourself to get excited.
- Next, start asking your subconscious and the Universe to show you what’s next. You could say ‘What would it take for ‘x’ to show up, easily and with tons of fun!?’; or it can be as simple as ‘Show me!’
- Next, watch for clues, synchronicities, energy, things that light you up, inspirations and ACT ON IT NOW!!
Try it out and see how it works for those stubborn goals that don’t seem to move. And, if you feel you’ve got some blocks that you just can’t get around – think about coaching with me as I’ve been known to blow through some of the most stubborn blocks with a new process I’m using.