Adult Reality Check 101  

Women: Why a guy isn't good enough!

The emasculation of men in mainstream media is becoming so common, so ridiculous, that one is left to wonder if there are any smart, sensitive and comprehensive men out there.

Dumb dad, geek dad, insensitive husband, and the general theme of buffoon man plays out in popular sitcoms and nightly commercials. Wives roll their eyes and children snicker in the background at hubby’s ineptness and at Dad’s expense.

Dad drives a minivan by day, gets henpecked all afternoon, and then consoles himself at night in TV sports fantasy, captivated by hot chic beer commercials, and energized with Viagra infomercials.

But for many of us, this is not real life, this is not our daily life, and this is not even close to who we are. Sadly this image is more accurate than many guys care to admit.

Women want more, deserve more, and some of us are giving them more; voluntarily. Because it’s not that hard to live up to be the man you said you wanted to be, when you were young and just another “guy”.

It takes effort; it takes work, but most of all it takes courage to not conform to the guy script; to do more than just live the screenplay written for you by society.

As much as the media is responsible for the lame man image, more blame lies with our immature peers; the cave men that refuse to grow up and change with the times. Many men just can’t seem to become more, to be bigger, to step up to the plate, and learn to exist without displaying the immature behaviors and tribal colors made acceptable by our culture.

Unfortunately a lot of “guys” are content to sit around in the “guy” cave, accountable to no one because they are just a “guy”, and the other “guys”, are doing the same “guy” thing” they do, which ultimately justifies their “guy mentality”.

One thing's for sure, not all us aspire to join this substandard guy club, and we are more than happy delivering our spouses a more comprehensive persona.

For well-adjusted men it has become a big problem to display any form of growth, any emotions outside the basic guy issue emotional toolbox without appearing soft. We have ended up on the outside looking in, surrounded by our brethren who can’t man up, and be comfortable in their own skin.

Yet most thinking men are no different than “average guy” in many taste preferences; we like sports, fast machines, and hot women; but it’s usually our wife, and not some 20 something hostess, slinging beer in a sports bar, who has no more interest in us than the tip we leave, and ego boosting we provide.

Many of us more cultured and accomplished men don’t appreciate being typecast by the media, society or women as the kind of guys that are socially and intellectually stunted. Many of us have strived to be better, lived as gentlemen and still believe in social and romantic chivalry.

And this must bring optimism to the millions of women who follow the media with hopes and dreams that somehow, somewhere there exists a MAN, who can be better than just a another “GUY”!

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About the Author

Jeff Hunkin is a 47-year-old Community Service Worker working with autistically challenged male adults in Vernon. The son of a retired Edmonton city policeman, Hunkin was raised and educated in both BC and Alberta. Hunkin continued his studies of the Human experience for over 10 years, in 7 provinces, 3 states, 15 cities and at least a 100 postal codes.

At times he has known the privilege of materialistic wealth and at others lived in a world of harsh poverty.  He has loved and lost more than most people see in a lifetime, he has been a free, happy and unbridled spirit, yet for a period of time, imprisoned within the depths of depression, all the while studying and observing the human experience unfold before him.

Hunkin's subjects are the very topics we usually discuss in our staff rooms, coffee shops or dinner parties. For whatever reason; being fear-based, being politically correct, or just no mainstream media theatres of discussion, these subjects rarely see the ink of print. HER side, his side, their side, your side, you may not like it, but someone will. Hunkin will take it, talk about it, run with it, roll with it, and see where it takes us all.

If you want to contact Jeff Hunkin about this week's column please e-mail - [email protected]

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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