Working women are personally invested

After almost three decades of women’s talk shows, today's men are better informed than ever, whether we want to be or not. Subsequently, a lot of men have taken the deluge of either useful information, or the martyrdom of sacrificial propaganda, and used it wisely to figure out what we really want in a spouse.

A lot more of us now want the complete woman, who is enjoying all facets of her life; motherhood, marriage, and a career.

With so many women accomplishing so many personal and professional objectives that were out of reach 30 years ago, it makes little sense to “settle” for, or be complacent with the stereotypical, minivan driving, harried, party planning homemaker, waiting for us with a litany of personal dramas, and quoting talk show solutions.

The working women is invested personally in the world around her; she shares the gratification the world can bring, and understands the anxieties the world can impose, she is a partner in life through the mutual experience of truly living in it. She provides a far more attractive personal portfolio and helps the marriage be healthier than the motivationally challenged, stay-at-home mom.

Statistically, women are working more now than ever, yet most working women still carry the duties of homemaker, child raising and rearing a husband, simultaneously.

Often during the business day we see the glammed up mall moms, out prowling for a shred of instant gratification; perhaps a fashion fix, or a piece of visual affirmation from the opposite sex. Drinking lattes and stealing glances at the emotional and financial expense of a working husband, who somewhere, is drinking bad coffee, and grinding out a paycheque. This makes for a hard argument that homemaking is the toughest job on earth.

The suggestion is not that women abandon motherhood during a child’s early years, but when children begin school, alternative care could be considered. I am referring to the career stay-at-home moms, women who feel they have right by gender, to not contribute to the financial portfolio of the home. These helicopter moms are unconsciously deluding themselves on a number of important issues; their children’s perception and opinion of their mother's role in the relationship, their spouse’s true subconscious feelings, and ultimately their own self-worth and identity.

And for single men looking at a potential mate, we recognize the high cost and high maintenance of the trophy mom; with the drama phone ringing, kids screaming and a theatre of issues pending.

Women who work bring a lot more into a relationship than just a paycheque; camaraderie, self-worth, self-esteem, and an attractive vitality that separates them from the occupationally challenged.

Women who don’t work take a lot more out of the relationship than just the lack of a paycheque, most of which are obvious, but some are not. The concealed penalty is they have chosen to not enjoy personal development, to not have the same independence, and to not gain self-confidence. They don’t always establish individual credit; they can lose important work experience or seniority, and the can be left vulnerable and exposed in the event of divorce.

This unfortunately, can be the real hidden cost, of the toughest job on earth.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.